Tah Dahhhhhhhhhh!

My totally un-scientific and disjointed list of the year’s biggest Pop Culture noise makers, trend forecasts and infotainment, mixed in with a big chewy nougat of celebrity *cringe*! So in no particular order (what is this order you speak of?) Here it is Friendsicles!

*No interns were hurt in the making of this list

Best in Music

As a former full-time music journalist, I still try to fuse some of my musicology prowess into this newly minted blog. In 2013 I reviewed an exceptional body of work, one of which landed at #1 on virtually everyone’s end-of-year lists. Read my review of Daft Punk’s Random Access Memories here.

Runner up is Beyoncé’s self-title end of season surprise album which sold a whopping 828,773 copies worldwide in its first three days on iTunes. A.K.A. The Visual Album, the 14 songs which feature everyone from Drake, Frank Ocean and even her daughter Blue Ivy, comes with the ‘visual’ accompaniment of 17 slick music videos.

On a side note: It’s good to see newcomer like her finally get their comeuppance 😉 Don’t let your aversion to commercialism over-ride this funktastic album and just wish Beyoncé and her buckets of money a Congratuloncé. (Yes, I just did *that*)

Best in Television

Netflix took over 2013 in a big way and with that came more eye balls on Breaking Bad and the season end finale with a colossal 10.4 million views on AMC. The number has grown exponentially larger from all the cross-pollination views on Netflix, but I’m allergic to math so your on your own to figure out the number crunching. Mea Culpa. What became of Walter White and his five-year Cancer Battle/Meth Cook-off?

Spoiler is here. You’re welcome.

Best in Television Spin-off

“Better Call Saul,” Walter White’s sleazy lawyer Saul Goodman get’s his own gig in an exclusive Netflix arrangement. I know. So many *feels* on this. It’s gonna be uh-mazing!

Best in Books

2013 saw two of my favorite bloglebrities put out exclusive hilarious tomes. Kelly Oxford’s Everything is Perfect When You’re a Liar and Fashion Assassin Leandra Miller’s Man Repeller

 

These foxy bitches parlayed their Twitter/Blog Fame into 360 degrees of Real Life Fame!  I’ll be damned if I’m not next!!

Best Magazine Cover

It’s a Three Way Tie! Rolling Stone’s cover of Lena Dunham and juicy interview were the stuff of Girly dreams and Oprah’s hair-raising cover was simply too much fun!

New York magazine featured one of my favorite actresses Lake Bell in her birthday suit. I know what your thinking. Yes, her *hair* is TOTALLY fake.

Best in Former Child-Stars A.K.A. ♪ “Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be 

Disney Constructs…”♪

The maniacal barely-dressed selfies. The haterade towards ‘ugly people.’ The suggestively ‘rapey’ come-on’s to Drake? 2013 was the year Amanda Bynes officially went crazy-cakes via her Twitter account. Oh and the ratchet wigs! Absotootly fetching!

 *Do* try and work with your medication(s) in 2014 will you Ms Bynes? (Be Well!)

 

Miley Cyrus made headlines in 2013 proving to everyone in try-hard doses how much she didn’t want to be viewed a Hannah Montana any longer. “She’s Not a Girl….Not Yet a Hoookerrrrr.”♪ 

Yes, I’m slut-shaming. Deal with it.

Take one part pasty tongue-wagging gymnastics, two parts ass gyrating twerking, mix it in a cusinart with some oooooh-you-naughty-pot-smoking-rebel-on-live-tee-vee, some interrogation-lit Terry Richardson porn, and…we got it Miley.

We. Really. Got. It. You all GROWNS UP.  

Best in Guy Trend

My local coffee shop is THE place where hipsters converge in their natural habitat on the daily. When not sipping their fair-trade lattes and eating vegan muesli bars, I have a game I like to play called “count the hipster beards.”Hey brothers; it was fun while it lasted. Here’s to 2014 and some clippers, mmmkay?

Best Photo Bomb

There have been some epic photo bombs in the past year, but none as bomb diggity as this one taken last February at the Grammy’s. Here’s the adorbs Kelly Clarkson bombing Portia and Ellen’s photo opp with absolute aplomb. *see what I did there?

…Stay tuned for Part Deux of 2013 Pop Culture Rainman’s Year in Review.

In the Mean Nice Time…Merry Christmas Lover Heads!

XOXO
The Pop Culture Rainman™