Goodbye GIRL(S)…

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So last we sexted, I had given Season 3 of HBO’s GIRLS a rather severe ultimatum—‘shape up in Season 4’—like full body SPANX styles, or I am done with you forever. *I watch every season in bulk marathon styles, and this is why this write up is late. 

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Mere minutes into the premiere episode, and witnessing the absolute GLOSS OVER and sweeping-under-the-rug of season 3’s assisted suicide cliff hanger—and the tone for my immediate disappointment was immediately set.

This could have been an incredible, multi-dimensional story arc to continue into season 4. Instead all Jessa gets is a brief lashing from Beadie’s daughter (played by Natasha Lyonne–who I personally can’t stomach), some good-bye ‘hugs & kisses’ from Beadie and this story line is suddenly now dry cleaned and tied up in a neat bow?

To simply absolve Jessa of any wrong doing was lazy & irresponsible? As if to say (without saying ANYTHING) that this, THIS experience has now resolved Jessa of all her crazy cakes antics, without showing the fall out, or after math of that very HEAVY scene? While I hate referencing anything to do with math equations; ummmm Lena DunhamSHOW. YOUR. WORK? This felt like Patrick Duffy waking up from a dream sequence in the shower on Dallas—a Huge Rip Off!

Millennial Morass

If Dunham’s depiction of millennial apathy is even remotely accurate, this is one &%#ed up generation, that I’m glad I missed by a couple of hairs. Ok…a WHOLE HEAD OF HAIR. OK, fyyyyyne…. just call me Rapunzel-years-old.

Holy F**k Tarts, these kids are fickle and flighty!?

Hannah can’t take constructive criticism? How else does one LEARN?

Hannah, DROPS out of Grad school seemingly after 2 classes because her work is being challenged? What an entitled brat?! I’m all about free will and the ability to change ones mind, but she adored her writing, and she just dropped out at the first inference of defeat? Is this generation THAT lazy? Where is the resilience?

I’ve been a writer for well over fifteen years and I still have to fight for my work. I still study and attempt to improve my craft by wrapping my brain around anything & everything that will enrich my writing. I wish I could go back to school for a Masters degree? She had the greatest opportunity in the palm of her hand, and because it challenged and provoked her writing style she simply gave up? What a waste.

So, then she gets back to Brooklyn and she gets to be a substitute high school teacher? Is it really that easy to do with an undergrad degree?  Hannah, was usually the voice of reason in the group, and she MUST have known that socializing with a teenage student was boundary incendiary? Even if the teen was played by Maude Apatow, (who is showing signs of becoming a great little actress) this was unacceptable behaviour?!

Also Jessa ‘deciding’ she now wants to be a therapist because she talked Adam’s bat s**t cray sister out of having an unsupervised home water birth, albeit barely?

Jessa, a f**cked up mess like yourself, and yes…you are messier than ever…does not just segue into becoming a therapist just like that? It takes work. It takes years of schooling. It takes dedication. It takes a conscious. She shows major signs of sociopathic behavior—lack of empathy for one. Good luck on that therapist tangent. It ain’t  gonna happen for ya kid.

Why do these GIRLS think career choices are like a game of darts? I blame reality music competition shows where unknowns become stars OVERNIGHT. Yes, this is the nexus for all millennial laziness.

Mean Girls Redux

I have never seen women act worse to each other? They’re not friends? They’re out for each others blood? Female friendships can absolutely be ‘complicated’ but these gals are outright hateful towards each other?

Jessa fixes up her new friend ‘Mimi-Rose’ with Hannah’s barely ex boyfriend Adam? Who does that? No-one does that? Her pathetic reasoning was that she wanted to date the guy that Mimi-Rose was with previously, and wanted her away from him? And she is barely apologetic? Feels justified even? Outrageous?

...With Friends Like These

…With Friends Like These

As I wrote in my Season 3 post why are these four women even friends? Where is the connective tissue? It was all but obliterated in season 4 for me. They all seem out for themselves and barely supportive. And Elijah as the token gay bestie, is also annoying as hell. His ‘Burnt Sienna’ rouge and heavy eye liner is way too distracting.

And Ray? How did the show’s most insufferable character turn out to be the most likable this season? His whole running for community board seat and possibly mayor is implausible to take seriously.  He can take his impressive vocabulary and witticisms and be gone as far as I’m concerned.

Oh please.

Also one would have to deduce that Ray is a secret serial killer, as people seem to go missing (or die) after he has words with them. Season 3 showed Hannah’s editor go missing and eventually ended up dead (with no explanation) after Ray had his fist fight with him. And in season four we are left wondering why Desi does not show up for his and Marnie’s showcase after Ray finished lambasting him the day prior?

As per Shoshana, I’ve had my absolute fill of her sing-songy, twee, complainy-recitals. It’s no longer charming. Also I feel a less than zero connection with her new love interest and it feels more like a ‘just-add-water-relationship’ than anything with an actual heart and soul.

I did like the whole Lean In/Female Empowerment story line, with her deciding to take her new job in Tokyo, despite being begged by her boyfriend not to. And let’s face it, she will be a riot to watch as she incorporates Hirajuku fashion into her clothing and hairstyles.

But no I am done. I even removed Lena Dunham from my Twitter, I was THAT disappointed. She has all the resources in the world, Judd Apatow as consult, and she’s gotten it wrong back to back from season 3 to 4. I have no more time to invest. Unless season 5 comes *free* in a new box of Jessica Alba organic tampons, I don’t plan on watching it ever again.

Also Adam Driver should get out of his contract before Season 6 (the supposed finale season.) He is way too talented to get dragged down in this disjointed fiasco of a series—despite it being where we discovered him. He’s paid his dues, now fly raven, FLY!

So much potential squandered,

Thanks for reading friendsicles!

XOXO

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*Update* I’ve started following Lena Dunham back on Twitter ’cause I missed her soooo. Still done with the show ‘tho.

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