Drones & BattleBots; The Games White People Play

Gadget Show

My neighbour has a Drone. He flies it early evening around our place, and people stop and point and seem to revel in a fascination that I simply can’t relate to?

If I’m being honest, I find it rather banal? (*I pronounce it “Buhhhh-NAHL” …so that it drips with extra-crispy aversion).

I mean, on one hand I *do* get the boys-with-toys, tech aspect—the ability to-spy-on-others and take pictures from above ‘draw‘. But beyond that, how many times can you fly what is essentially a bump-up from your childhood toy plane if you’re NOT involved in a military air strike, performing a daring search and rescue, delivering pregnancy terminating pills to Poland, filming a documentary, or to sully a Calvin Klein/billboard?!

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The New Graffiti? Kendall Jenner gets Droned.

If you’re not doing any of the above, and you-know-you’re-not….then it’s tedious mind-rot, no?

Also, it feels like a white male privilege toy. These play-things don’t pay for themselves—they can easily run a cool $1,000 to 10k depending on the technology and speed capabilities. I don’t feel like I’m being sexist or racist by making such a sweeping statement inasmuch as I can say that Rush concerts are generally populated by 97% white males. It’s simply a fact. So…let’s move along, shall we?

(*Not discounting the Asian population here, and their widely pervasive and oftentimes comically lampooned interest/investment in technology…this is specifically just a silly white person post, so no hate mail please!)

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My boyfriend thinks my neighbour is great at “flying the Drone,” and likes to drop the occasional “Drones are the future…they’re going to replace the postal service,” pearl of authoritative wisdom.

Kite flying agility I *get. It actually takes a skill set to maneuver and adjust to wind velocities so that a kite stays airborne. Plus its relaxing and most importantly, QUIET.

Anyone can fly a Drone? It’s a flick of a switch? What the hell is there to admire?

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All I know is it sounds like a Tyrannosaurus housefly, and its agitating my cat.

These are unprecedented times. What are my neighbourhood Drone rules and regulations? What are my rights as a citizen? 

NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW?

The people just point and watch.  It’s absolute noise pollution? The only place I’m aware of that has NO Drone Zone is the entirety of Washington DC (including the airport vicinity) for obvious security reasons, but please do chime in if, they exist elsewhere?

My neighbour could possibly be taking covert pictures of my radish garden—I feel *totally* violated. Also those propeller blades are incredibly dangerous! Just look what happened to Enrique Iglesias when he tried to man-handle his concert drone to take a live selfie?!! 

You know what this could mean for my little Lulu? Chopped Kitty—that’s what!

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 *I don’t actually have a radish garden, but it’s a long-term dream.

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The first time I became privy to the Sci-Fi nerd parade that is BattleBots was on the 2013 third season of Showtime’s Shameless series.

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Showtime’s Shameless

In it, the shows modern genius Artful Dodger character ‘Lip’ steals a laser that goes on to win him a BattleBots competition—  armed robotic machines with saw-like beetle pincers that fight to the death in a glass enclosed octagon.

Blanched white people type entertainment. Oh the humanity?!!

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The art of BattleBots actually goes back to the late 90’s, with Comedy Central hosting a show from 2000-2002, before ABC brought back a reboot this summer. Ahhhh summer television. I veritable array of throw-spaghetti-at-a-wall and see what sticks state of programming.

I can appreciate the art of building anything from scratch and wanting to engage in harmless competition, but what is the excuse for the hundreds of ‘characters’ who go to watch this kind of thing as audience members?

The intellectual acuity can’t be very high in those cheering sections. Just sayin’.

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Now Go Fly A Kite…No, Seriously…GO.

XOXO

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