True Story.

This is a close facsimile to the Barbie I got to play with as a ten-year-old, whenever I went over to my cousins Sherry’s house.

Sherry played with a gorgeous perfect face & hair Barbie, whereas I got handed some sort of busted face version like below—except the tip of her nose and toes were also chopped off?! Sherry clearly had pent-up rage issues, and was a cruel Machiavellian playmate to my twee Golden Retriever-like innocence.

And guess whose Barbie got felt up by Ken in da club every time?

That’s right, perfect face & hair Barbie! Ken didn’t want to get to know me—busted face Barbie? He saw my mutilated nose and toes and was all—I am OUT on that ugly ratchet bitch.

…Wait, where were we?

Ahh yes (context!)…I *feel* like busted face Barbie every year as summer is ending.

My hair—the texture of straw, is an array of indecipherable shades not found on any color wheel, and my skin is sun damaged despite my best efforts to slap on the SPF.

Also, it’s been a bra-less summer and I’m certain that will cost me somewhere down the road.

The Solution? My annual Rube Goldberg machine beauty overhaul, as I attempt to shoe horn myself into the transitional ether of fall. Ready? Let’s. Do. This.

Clean Up, Aisle Skin!

If you are going to get your fall beauty foxiness on, you have to set the table properly—and that means starting with your skin. No matter how well you have tried to protect yourself from the sun’s harmful rays, all of us have some degree of damage to contend with as September rolls around.

My first stop is always my fairy godmother skin doyen—Dr. Lisa Kellet from DLK on the Avenue. DLK on the Avenue offers up the perfect solution to end-of-summer skin woes with their latest technology, their *new* 3-in-1 M22 ResurFx treatment. Think of it as the ultimate car wash for your skin and the best bang for your buck as it’s all done in one sitting!

Forget traditional facials; they are picayune offerings in the face (*pun intended) of these medical grade technologies!

Part 1 of the M22 ResurFx is a diamond peel Microdermabrasion treatment removing the dead skin cells on top of the skin.

Part 2 is multiple wavelengths of light, similar to intense pulse light (IPL) that works on the brown spots, redness and pore size—making your overall color more homogenous and less blotchy.    

Part 3  is a resurfacing treatment that uses an erbium laser to resurface the skin that ablates tissue. This works on texture; acne scars, fine lines and plumps up collagen at the same time. *Recovery time is 24 hours, with some redness and mild flaking. 

If you can’t get this incredible treatment done, Dr. Kellet is adamant about employing her “proper trinity” of skin care gospel. At the bare minimum, Dr. Kellet recommends a 30 SPF all year round, a topical Vitamin C for day, and a topical liquid Vitamin A (*Retinol) for nighttime.

For a quick fix up, I’ve long been a fan of the exfoliating wonders of GlamGlow’s YouthMud Tinglexfoliate Treatment. It contains Volcanic Rock, French Sea Clay and Active Green Tea Leaf and gives you instant results in 10 minutes flat! Another trade secret of mine is Celebrity Make Up artist, Charlotte Tilbury’s Magic Cream. It instantly transforms your skin with a dewy glow, and is really the stuff that dreams are made of.

Giorgio Armani has been a permanent staple in my arsenal since they launched their line in 2000. Their Luminous Silk foundation, and Fluid Sheer is my really my North Star of maquillage! Their High Precision Touch Up concealer covers even the toughest dark circles, in ways that astound me and obliterates the competition.

They recently launched their Luminous Silk Compact—a diaphanous powder finish that has had a waiting list since it first debuted in early August.

If you haven’t yet gauged, I am a bona fide make up JUNKIE! I literally get pupils-dilated highhhhh when I see all the new fall colours start to trickle into stores. I can talk gloss, lacquers and shimmer until the cows come home, and my idea of time well spent is getting mindlessly lost in a Sephora for hours upon hours. Oftentimes I look exactly like busted face Barbie’s make up job (*add in multiple swatches of lipstick shades on both hands + every nail painted a different color) when I leave am escorted out by security. Ahhh, such fun!

So…without further ado, I present a crash course of Fall 2015’s hottest Beauty trends.

Bionic Brows

Fall’s brows are not your garden-variety Cara Delevigne eyebrows…they are even more bountiful, bushier and dare I say… Albanian tribal?!

The brows at DKNY were dampened + combed/fanned out, while TIBI kept them dry and groomed.

*I’d be a liar liar pants on fiyah, if I didn’t share that I find they look like terrifying furry caterpillars threatening to eat my face off. No offence.

Liner Notes

Black liner gets an arty upgrade this fall with new designs and accents. First up is a modern new take on the classic cat eye with the illusion of negative space, Suno offers up a spare yet dramatic paint strokes approach, and Imax Tree adds in an eye-catching Aztec motif that says all at once—coolest It Girl in Chelsea or Soho (NY or London) + over the crease lines that boldly go where no liner has gone before. Try: Stila Liquid Eyeliner

Sweet Cheeks

By far one of my favorite trends of fall is the ‘flushed cheeks’ look. Whilst it may be a cardinal sin not to use a brand new blush to achieve this look, I can’t help but still be obsessed with last spring’s offering from Nars—Adoration. As far as I’m concerned, the sun rises and sets with this slutty/naïf blush combo! I love wearing the hot pink alone, or in combination with the powder baby pink on top of it. I use a fluffy brush and adroitly apply in circular motions to the apples of my cheeks, and the peeps from Nars also recommend a wet brush option.

Goth Lips

Are you afraid of the DARK? Mua Ah Ah Ah AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…

Don’t be.

If you can carry it off i.e.; wear the lipstick and not vice versa—it’s actually quite an accessible trend that can appeal to a substantial variant of women. I love the versatility and options; wearing it matte, splotched or stained. Top: Christian Louboutin’s wearable new lipsticks in Sevillana, Tom Ford’s Black Orchid, Nars Train Bleu + if you so dare…Kat Von D’s Slayer.

Hair Goals

Hair is a very sensitive subject for me as mine is unruly, frizzy, fine and not super abundant. I’m not kidding when I can boast perhaps, seven good hair days a year? Otherwise I’m spending money to get it blown out, or adding in my confidence weave—for length and volume. What is weave if not make-up for your hair, n’est pas?

While T Swift has Squad Goals, I have my very own Hair Goals for fall 2015 (*Gigi Hadid not included—natch)

Considering the paltry innovation for fall hair 2015, I instead looked to my style muse Ms. Alexa Chung from now until infinity, for any and all inspiration.

While this is not Ms. Chung’s latest look—because she is so dialed into style and consistently light years ahead of EVERYONE else, her S/S2015 hair is exactly what I want for fall 2015! How exquisite is this rich Ombré from dark brown to GOLD?!?! It also feels criminally irresponsible not to give a nod to her cheek bones…so I too would like to covet those for fall 2015.

**I can actually achieve the illusion with Charlotte Tilbury’s sculpting Filmstar Bronze & Glow + her powder sculpting brush!

Fall Nails

Nail color innovation has ceased to ‘phone it in’ and always has something new on the menu. For fall, I prefer my nails to be extremely short and I have already been wearing the electric blue nail color that is all LE RAGE this season. (*Slide over each photo for credits/click on photo for a closer look) 

While Nail Art has taken a bit of a sedative this fall, I am enjoying some of the subtler designs that don’t have to hit you over the head with Bob Fosse-like Glitterati. But should you be craving some Jazz Hands & Bejeweled goodness, Tokyo nail titan Eichi Matsunaga never disappoints! Check out his Instagram here.

To sum up girlfriends, You Have the Right to Remain Foxy—it just may take a little work!

Fallin’ For Beauty,

XOXO,

 *Congrats goes out to @spazss who wins a 50 ML bottle of Marc Jacobs new scent Decadence! Enjoy!