Apologies dear readers, if this visual made you choke on your morning Muesli, but someone needs to stop this maniac. I’m certain by now your news feed has been inundated with pictures of attention ho’ Kim Kardashian’s cover for Paper Magazine? What a demure flower she is.
REALLY, Kim Kardashian; we’ve seen enough of your lubed up booty. Knock it off, woman!
As most of you know, I normally employ a ZERO TOLERANCE Kim Kardashian policy—but this needs to be said:
I Don’t Speak Kardashian
I truly hope the above display of dripping DESPERATION comes back to haunt you in ways you are far too lobotomized to even recognize.
BLECH.
I’m also *shocked* to see that the photographer was Jean-Paul Goude, the same genius who snapped the Grace Jones work of art masterpiece!?
Here at The Pop Culture Rainman we’re no strangers to the wondrous world of viral meme fame and infamy—we cover it quite a lot.
The snap that started it all…
The latest viral juggernaut is #AlexFromTarget—a baby-faced Target cashier who reached a viral ‘touchdown’ after his photo was posted to Tumblr and spread like wild-fire overnight via giddy tweenagers who thought he was…wait for it…a hottie.
How non illuminating?!
What’s interesting to note—is that Alex had no ideathat his photo had even been taken, least of all splattered across the interwebs. Five days later Alex has an astounding 700k+ followers on his Twitter account, five fake accounts with impressive numbers, and he’s already been on the Ellen show!?
And for what I ask? What semblance of marketable talent does this 16-year-old from Texas have beyond being Beiber-esque cute? Can viral meme fame parlay itself into something real, profitable even? This idea gets even more interesting when said memee wasn’t actively courting any kind of attention to begin with?
This is a new frontier of accidental online fame.
I thought this was an insightful post made by @XmyheartMT via Twitter:
It’s clear that for Alex this was a positive outcome. I mean let’s face it…he was bagging diapers and light bulbs—hardly en route to becoming one of tomorrows change agents—and I say that with love.
He certainly wasn’t on Time Magazine’s 2014 most influential teens list, now was he? I say this ironically as I can’t believe how youth obsessed our culture has become that Time Magazine would post such nonsense. I also think their inclusion of nepotistic spawn like Jaden Smith + Kylie & Kendall is vomitous (I-n-f-l-u-e-n-t-I-a-las they may be). In fact the whole idea of 20 under 20, or even 30 under 30 lists make me want to projectile vomit all over the universe.
So, yes…Alex got to cut corners in making his way to the top of Twitter, whereas the rest of us have to SLAVE our way just to get to the middle.
But what if this apparent windfall went horribly wrong for Alex. What if it backfired? There are seemingly ZERO policies in place on what is acceptable when posting photos of others online and what could potentially be ILLEGAL?
The deluge of trending Subway snaps for the most part, are just plain hilarious. I don’t think this guy will be making a complaint that his privacy was compromised any time soon, however ↓
But back on point…overnight viral meme ‘fame’ is not to be compared to YouTube/Blogger famedom where there are hundreds of both young and (horrors!) aged adults making incredible profits for their videos and burgeoning brands online.
Unlike Alex from Target, these people have been curating content online for years and are considered bona fide digitalstars who have earned their audiences attention. Another element that they all share is that they were EARLY ADOPTERS of blogging and or YouTube. In the litmus test of online fame— 9/10 times said ‘digerati’ stars were churning out content between the formative years of 2005 and 2007. Yes, there are a handful or pseudo over night success examples, but those are exceptions, certainly not the rule.
Digerati ‘all-stars’ Shane Dawson + Jenna Marbles
***
At this point, I think Alex from Target should cut his losses and get out of the faux fame game, it truly doesn’t suit him.
His 1st rookie mistake has been, uh…being himself. His tweets post windfall, actually have the ability to put you into a coma. Sure he’s ‘pretty‘ but the kid is no word architect and pens one yawnathon after the other. He really should consider a ghost tweeter.
Once the sheen of his accidental fame starts to wear thin and he realises that the height of his modeling career potential will be JC Penney catalog work, his window of opportunity will start to cave in on itself. He’s sitting on some PRIME number Twitter real estate however—can he actually sell his Twitter space? Is that even done?
***
Let’s examine a couple of unexpected online meme scenarios where said memee benefitted in a positive way from the exposure. Not surprisingly—it’s not a lengthy list.
First up is Sammy The Success Kid. At just 11 months old, Sammy became a popular internet meme after his mom posted this ‘random day at the beach’ to Flickr in 2007, without ANY inclination it would become an internet sensation.
It’s a fantastic photo and the spacing with some extra landscape to the right, adds to its character.
Original photo of Sammy at the beach…ridiculously adorable we concur! Copyright
The initial incarnation of Sammy’s online persona was based on an interpretation of his closed fist and precociously smug stare asSammy the ‘Bully’ meme. The doctored photo below alluded to Sammy being a beach front bully and enemy to sand castles everywhere. It’s undeniably hilarious.
Beware of Sammy the Sand Castle Kicking Bully…
Initially his mother Lainey Griner was horrified by how her baby was being portrayed, but thankfully in the most random of occurrences, Sammy morphed into the poster child (literally) of SUCCESS—in meme parlance ↓
One of the many incarnation memes of Sammy the Success Kid!
In a reframing of his persona, Sammy appears to be the originator of the sentiment ‘WINNING‘ without actually having to say it. He reminds me of an archetypal University football coach actually!
What followed after Griner finally reined in her rightful copyright ownership were a couple of offers from top name brands like Vitamin Water and Verizon.
Verizon Poster Child of Value + SAVINGS! YEAHHHH!
While I have no idea if the money was substantial enough that it changed their lives dramatically, it certainly must have been a nice feather in their caps and an all around positive experience, mais non? From what we hear Sammy is a regular 7-year-old doing the things that 7-year-olds-do.
Success Kid is all Growns Up!
He will occasionally appear in a split photo ‘where are they now update’, but from all accounts—his online fame has run its course and his family has not tried to prolong any further promotion of their son. They fell in, and they got out before it became ‘weird’.
Who can forget Antoine Dodson?
“Well, obviously we have a rapist in Lincoln Park. He’s climbin’ in yo windows, he’s snatchin’ yo people up, tryin’ to raoe ’em. So ya’ll need to hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband cause they rapin’ everybody out here.” -Antoine Dodson.
His ghetto flamboyance courtesy of a news segment became a viral sensation, and the saying ‘Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Wife‘ became part of our collective pop culture lexicon. An auto-tuned music mash-up produced by the Gregory projects sold more than 250,000 copies on iTunes and proceeds eventually helped Dodson and his family move out of the Alabama projects. Dodson has appeared everywhere from George Lopez to the People’s Choice Awards, a cameo in Tyler Perry’s film A Madea Christmas, and even rang in NYE on Carson Daley’s Times Square telecast. Most recently he has a Kickstarter account to help start a reality show and most recently starred in a pay-per-view fight with the original intruder (ya right!?) who trued to rape his sister.
This obvi staged press video that breaks out into a ‘fight’ with Dodson taking a girly swing that a light breeze could exceed, seems like a major downgrade from his former press coverage. It feels rather 50 shades of desperate at this point. Was he able to parlay his online fame into something bigger? Absolutely. It’s almost 4 1/2 years later since the incident and Antoine Dodson still has an online presence and fan base. But is it something substantial? Can his windfall be stretched out any further?
In the wise words of Sweet Brown (who incidentally hasn’t received a penny to date for her video’s prevalent usage…)
Just last week Brendan Jordan was just a regular—albeit fabulous, 15-year-old teenager from Las Vegas, and now he’s a bona fide internet dancing sensation.
On October 14th, Jordan rose to viral fame after he stole *OWNED* the spotlight from a local newscaster with 60 seconds of choreography to Lady Gaga’s Applause playing in the background.
Some are calling it a video-bomb—but this has SASS-BOMB written all over it.
Feast your eyes on Jordan’s glittery magic below.
Between his you bettah Werk, Werk, Werk posing and giving Face, FaceFace—overnight the video went viral—attracting the attention of Lady Gaga who tweeted out these messages.
And this…
With 22k + fans and growing on his Twitter(courtesy, in part of many a Little Monster Gaga minion) Jordan is quickly becoming a strong voice for LGBT youth and the anti-bullying movement. His Twitter bio proudly states yes im a boy. yes im gay.—garnering him the online moniker #BabyGay.
In an interview with Today.com, Brendan said the whole ordeal was pretty spontaneous: “I just saw a camera and I did my thing,” he explained. “I was imagining myself as if I were Lady Gaga, and that no one could destroy me“.
In this unremitting climate of snack media—here-today-gone-tomorrow—only time will tell if Jordan can parlay his 15 minutes into something everlasting. I personally think he should get on the merch train ASAP—I would LOVE a Brendan Jordan ripped tank, a dancing bobble-head and a key chain!
Either way we will always have this FACE (which would indicate the swallowing of ones own vomit) and the meme of 2014 to look back on!
Digerati darlin’ Shira Lazar’s media dance card is truly something to marvel at.
An early adopter of web technology and platforms, Lazar has been fully immersed in online culture since 2004. In 2011 she was named one of Fast Company’s “Most Influential Women in Technology” and that’s just a thread of her overwhelming list of credentials. She speaks at conferences around the world (TEDx most recently) is a regular contributor on The Huffington Post and appears frequently on Bloomberg TV, CNN and Fox News Channel discussing Internet culture and digital trends.
Her daily interactive YouTube show What’s Trending, is head and shoulders above the competition—covering + curating the most viral content across the web. Part 24/7 news hub, part online talk show, her Emmy-nominated brand is a pop culture hot bed for trending personalities, videos, musical guests and celebrities alike. With a mammoth growth spurt since 2012, What’s Trending has had partnerships and syndication with mainstream publications like USA Today, Virgin America, iHeartRadio and Gas Station TV. On October 13th it was announced that Culture Machine, a digital video company will launch a What’s Trending net in India.
We tracked down the busy writer, producer and host in Los Angeles for an impromptu Pop Culture Rainman™ ‘Pop-Up’ Q+A.
Pop Culture Rainman: I remember seeing you for the 1st time when you were a young student at Montreal’s St George’s High School. I was hired to choreograph scenes in the annual fashion show. My 1st thought when I saw you was, ‘who is this overly fashionable, cool kid?” You definitely exuded an ahead-of-the-curve *vibe*. Who were your style influences at such a young age, and how did Montreal play a part in that as well?
Shira Lazar: “I had a modern-day family with siblings that were 5-15 years older than me. It was a fun and diverse upbringing with so many different personalities around me. Fashion and style were always a [huge] thing in my household from step-sister and my step-mother who worked in fashion. Growing up in Montreal had a huge influence on my style and mentality—the overall chic and European influence!”
PCR: Tell me about your start as a writer and as a journalist. I truly think it should be the marrow of anyone who is in a creative field—to be able to write well
SL: “I guess I always looked at myself as a connector and storyteller. I’ve used new mediums to do what I love doing whether it be writing an article or blog, tweeting, interviewing someone on YouTube, or even for a TV broadcast. It happens that my ability and care for writing has only helped push me to a better product and has allowed me to create something special. I think this day in age you need to do it all.”
PCR: You attended Emerson University in Boston and majored in TV and Video Production. Tell me about what you learned in University (and your program) that prepared you for the real world?
SL: “Emerson is very well-known for media and communications, as well as their extra curricular programs. It was also very small, so it was an intimate and hands on setting. I wouldn’t be where I am if I hadn’t taken this path and gone to Emerson. They also have an LA internship program, which I participated in my last semester. I interned at The Ellen Degeneres Show and a local LA radio station. My first job and mentors came from that experience. The Emerson alumni community also has a strong presence in LA, so I’ve never felt alone here. It definitely set me up for a career not just gigs.”
Shira Lazar Receives Young Achievement Award from Emerson in 2014
PCR: Your early work leading up to whatstrending.com was largely web content based. You were really a pioneer in creating an entire brand which focussed around the web—and all of the opportunities and channels within that. How did you have the foresight to follow the thread of digital platforms when it was still in its infancy stage? What were your interests that brought you to this area of engagement?
SL: “I followed the thread of the web because it was the only path that was allowing me to do what I loved and work on my craft. I was still meeting and auditioning for high-profile traditional media jobs but I didn’t want to sit on the sidelines. There were so many exciting things happening in digital and the people I was meeting were pioneers themselves—it was hard not to be inspired by the founders, platform and communities being built. Having come from a family of entrepreneurs, I was completely drawn to it and it happened that I had something to offer them too. What started off as a possible stepping stone, became my niche. The digital game is constantly evolving, you need to have a curiosity and a spark in you to want to stay ahead of the curve.”
PCR: In 2011, you made the shift from a daily blog/vlog (On the Scene) to turning whatstrending.com into a television series—tell me about that experience.
SL: “In 2011, we launched with a traditional media partner [CBSNews.com] and we streamed on Ustream and Livestream as well as posted on demand clips up on YouTube—but at the time we weren’t programming for the YouTube specific audience. We were still first to really put out a broadcast quality live week then daily show for the digital generation. It got many awards and even an Emmy nomination but even that model now has changed. Audiences are more mobile now, we’ve transitioned towards shorter pieces of content and we tend to program content to each platform differently. What goes on our .com is different from what goes on YouTube VS Facebook and Twitter.”
PCR: This is a business that is rife with struggle and that demands perseverance. Tell me what you have learned so far about being a public media figure? Tell me about a how you recovered or bounced back from obstacles and what it has taught you? (*NB: On September 9, 2011, someone at “What’s Trending” erroneously posted that Apple CEO Steve Jobs had died on the official “What’s Trending” Twitter account and it was soon trending. The tweet was removed shortly thereafter, with Lazar apologizing, saying Jobs death was “completely unconfirmed“. Later from her own Twitter account, Lazar apologized again for the inaccuracy. Hours after the first tweet was posted, CBSNews.com severed ties with “What’s Trending” and Lazar.)
SL: “Whenever I’ve been through dark times, the process I go through is I let myself *feel it* for a moment. Acknowledge the pain or emotion you have and then sit down and figure out actionable positive steps to move forward. For me, when What’s Trending went independent in 2011 we just put our heads down and worked our asses off. We left no stone unturned and hard work persevered. In the end, the story of that year wasn’t how we had split from a major network partner, but how we built our audience on our own and that was the new name of the game. I like seeing a problem or a gap and finding a solution and thinking big. Don’t sit and stare at what you don’t have, but what you do and move forward with that to build something bigger. That gratitude mixed in with committed hard work is what has helped me push forward. Also, you are never better than anyone. Be confident in who you are and own your power, but leave your ego at the door. Collaboration is key and not just taking from people but bringing value to them.”
PCR: American Apparel CEO Dov Charney is your step brother. Do you find yourself having to defend or protect him on a regular basis and how do you navigate that?
a *rare* interview between step-siblings in early 2008
SL: “Surprisingly no, no one ever brings it up and they’re surprised when they find it out! I’m like it’s on my Wikipedia page! [Laughter] But seriously—he’s a brilliant pioneer that I’ve always looked up to. He’s the consummate entrepreneur—and at every point has hustled, never gives up, fights for what he believes in and continues to work with that bullish excitement like he’s just starting out. You have to admire that.” (*N.B. the above interview still from LX TV was taken in 2008 and there was no mention in the interview that Charney and Lazar were step-siblings—way to keep it all covert + pro!)
PCR: Tell me why you think social media platforms for your brand are important and which ones do you use that are the most effective for your brand? Also What are some tips on building ones online portfolio?
SL: “It really depends on who your audience is and what story you’re trying to tell. Instagram might be more visual and behind the scenes for us, vs Facebook where we also hit on the Facebook trends of the day. Figure out your audience, where they’re hanging out and program your social platform for them there. Follow people in the community, show love and don’t just broadcast your own stuff. Comment, RT and be part of the conversations.”
PCR: Is there a new tool, app, or social media platform that you really digging lately?
Lazar is all about SnapChat
SL: “Right now I’m fascinated with the Vine and Snapchat communities. A lot of people are trying to figure out the next Snapchat or private messaging app that will replace texting.”
PCR: Any new music that you are discovering?
SL: “I’m loving Kiesza (go Canada!) and also Fitz and the Tantrums”
Pop Rocks: Lazar Loves the Music of Calgary’s Own Kiesza
PCR: Best film of 2014 (so far?)
SL: “I haven’t seen them all yet, but I’m definitely a fan of Chef and the Fault in Our Stars!”
PCR: Fallon or Kimmel and why?
SL: “That’s too hard! Fallon kills it [with his skits] on YouTube constantly, but I feel like Kimmel would be more fun to party with!”
PCR: Best celebrity interview ever?
SL: “Without question, Joan Rivers. Her work ethic was so awe-inspiring. I can’t believe she is no longer with us. I feel so honored to have spent an hour with her on stage.”
Joan Rovers + Shira Lazar at Internet Week NY 2013
PCR: Lastly, do you have a personal quote or maxim that you live by?
SL: “Spend less time being interesting and more time being interested in people and the world”
Nail Art is *still* alive and well, and impressively, quite adaptive in terms of constantly evolving. Why just back in the pre-fall, I was waxing poetic about the metallic nail color trend and lo’ + behold’ a new fad has emerged.
The latest and greatest is a pastiche of geometric + abstract shapes, with new takes on the half moon/reversed French. While some might argue that the geometric nail art trend has been around since 2012, I believe these following pictures to be freshly-squeezed modern expressions on the trend.
With the 60’s back in fashion for fall 2014, this first photo feels like a perfect retro fit.
Mod + Modern Geometry
I absolutely adore this next ‘lewk’. I love the folding of gold, to neutral— to bare nail. It reminds me of Fritz Lang’s futuristic dystopian filmMetropolis—especially the original posters
Metropolis Nail Inspiration
↓ ↓ ↓ ↓
Gilded Nails
This last set is a new take on the half moon/reversed French—its a half triangle, again, using the natural nail as part of the design. It’s quite Bond Girl don’t ya think? A Bond Girl with hot pink sex lasers beaming from her eye balls. Yes, I have an active imagination.
Half Triangle Reversed French. Sexy!
Let’s hope these designs are still wearable come Christmas falala fun-times—if not you know where to come a knockin‘ trendnistas! You can try Googling for DIY versions of the above, or try finding a Nail Art Studio in your area. In Toronto two places that can accommodate; Pinky`s Nails Studio + Tips Nail Bar.
Laser Cats!
FYI This rainbow Laser Cat from SNL fame should not be mistaken for my Bond Girl pink sex lasers, which I made up. Just want to make sure your paying attention class!
In terms of pop culture, Phó—the Vietnamese noodle soup, is currently experiencing revival ‘IT‘ foodie stature.
In fact, this dish is so happening, that if Phó were an actor it would be Jennifer Lawrence.
If it were a model, it would soooo be Cara Delevingne
If it were a singer it would be that annoying troll-hobbit Ariana Grande—I long to take a weed whacker to that phony-tail of hers.
But before any more vocal confetti, firsta brief history lesson!
• Did you know, that Phó is strictly a staple breakfast offering in Vietnam, served with a black cup of coffee?
• While the word Phó appears to be pronounced ‘Faux‘—like a Kardashian, the correct elocution is actually ‘Fuh‘ (like ‘Huh’)…Illuminating stuff, yes?
• Lastly, the word Phó refers to the actual rice noodles known as bánh phởand can come with beef, pork, chicken, shrimp, vegetables or any combination thereof.
***
My initial indoctrination into the cuisine happened in early 2014 via a friend after a yoga sesh. While I’ve certainly enjoyed many a oversized asian-inspired noodle soup during my life’s quilt, this was the 1st time I was mindfully trying Vietnamese Phó, ya dig?
Said friend brought me to Phó Rua Vang Golden Turtle on Ossington street in Toronto. On any day of the week, the place is packed to the gills with hipsters and foodies slurping down enormous bowls of soup and other yummy accompaniments. It is considered by and large the #1 eaterie for Phó in the downtown Toronto area. Other big draws are their famed deep-fried pork spring rolls (I don’t indulge in the swine) and their spicy satay chicken + lemon grass with vermicelli.
The instant you sit down at Golden Turtle you are sated with a steaming hot-pot of green tea. I order a vegetarian Phó soup and it comes to the table in the blink of an eyelash with a side plate of extras. The side plate at any Phó establishment are the add-ons that are integral to the heightened flavor of ones soup bowl.
*Insert Record Scratch Sound Here*
But before we go on, I must make a dramatic 360° turn to another restaurant I discovered, that trumpsThe Golden Turtle in terms of their Pho’ broth and over all presentation.
Back in the early spring I was having a conversation with a local restaurant owner and telling him all about my Phó obsession at Golden Turtle.
“Yeah, it’s good, but there is so much better Phó around,” he said matter of factly.
“But what do you mean” I said in disbelief? “It’s packed all the time, sometimes it’s impossible to get a table!”
“Yeah, it’s packed, but do you notice that it’s strictly all non-asian clientele?”
He continued.
“If you want good Phó, you should go where Vietnamese people go. Like down on College St. at Phó Linh—it’s incredibe.”
Where the Magic Happens: The Mother Ship, Phó Linh
And just like that I became a convert overnight. My friends sage advice was some of the most potent, yet simplistic foodie-wisdom-for-the-ages. If you want the best of any cuisine, go where people from said cuisines background go to eat. Brilliant!
So, yes, IMHO, Phó Linh is *better* than the Golden Turtlein terms of the actual soup broth, veggies, tofu and add-ons. Did I mention I have a six day-a-week Phó habit that I have no intention of giving up?
Green Tea
Like the Golden Turtle, the peeps at Phó Linh bring a green tea to your table as soon as your booty hits the seat. In the summer its a cold green tea offering, in the fall/winter, hot. Because I am there so often, (I’m literally on an IV drip of the stuff) they no longer take my order and just give me an all-knowing nod as they hand a paper to the cook. It’s also important to note that Phó Linh is also PACKED to the gills with patrons–they’ve been around since the late 90’s!
Also I don’t want you coming. Seriously. This is not an advertorial. I don’t want it getting more popular. I’m totally serious about this. It’s such a little gem for me. I don’t want THE MAN, messing it up.
And…back to our story.
Important to note is the bric-a-brac of condiments nestled to my right; back tube (left) of hot sauce, (right) hoisin sauce, front right to left: pot au heaven (I made that up) a paste made of blended chili peppers, fish sauce (a Vietnamese mainstay) and finally shrimp sauce. Purists don’t believe in using condiments, but as you likeis how I look at it!
Condiments A-Plenty
In less than 10 minutes a steaming huge bowl of Vegetarian Phó soup with extra tofu, extra cripsy (my specific order) comes to the table with the side plate of extras that you heard about earlier in our story.
What comes next is a meditative ritual of spice placement that is really like an aromatic dance for me. I am never more ‘present‘ then when I’m going through the very pleasant rigmarole of preparing my Phó. The side plate bounty consists of (on bottom) crunchy bean sprouts, multi-leafed stock of THAI BASEL, it smells like a fragrant Saigon sunrise (I have no idea what that means), one piece of Culantro (not to be mistaken for Cilantro) but they are definitely related somewhere in the vine-lines of the Cilantro fam. Next is a mini crimson red chili pepper, and lastly a gorgeous wedge of lime goodness.
Side Plate ‘Fixins!
Quid Phó Pro
There are subtle rules of engagement when sitting down to a bowl of Phó. My process is as follows. I start with the plucking of the Thai Basel, one by one into my soup. Then I take the stalk of Culantro and break it up into pieces and spread it around the soup. My former amateur move was to stick the whole stalk of it in, until I observed how the initiated were doing it in the restaurant. I even received a nod of encouragement from a lovely Asian woman as I was doing it one day. Next I sprinkle in some bean sprouts, and finish off with a circular lime squeeze. The lime is so very essential to the over all TANG. I don’t use the mini hot pepper as I douse my Phó in the mixed condiment chili paste as you will see shortly.
Next I take my ‘tools’—a soup spoon, and a pair of chop sticks. I mix the ingredients together with my soup spoon (there’s additional onions, carrots, broccoli, mushrooms bok choy, and a heaping of shallots and regular cilantro already in the soup.) I take my chop sticks and loosen the noodles underneath, and do a newly homogenized taste test. The picture doesn’t really do the presentation justice, (the veggies et al are hidden) but I wanted to take my own photos. Hear that Word PressFreshly Pressed panel?!! The photo that does do it justice is from the top ↑ of my story one taken from UrbanSpoon.com. It’s an exact replica and makes my mouth water just looking at it!
Phó Sweet Phó: A Thing of Beauty…
Lastly, I add some pot au heaven chili paste directly on my crispy pieces of tofu. The tofu, compared to the forgettable soft puff balls at Golden Turtle, are like tasty little firm mattresses! The broth at Phó Linh is a perfect blend of tastes, where comparatively the Golden Turtle broth is too salty and simply doesn’t have the same texture, aroma and quality.
So there you have it, I promise you I’m not this precious with any other meals, nor am I even remotely anal about other things in my life. I truly just enjoy the slow and mindful ritual of my warm and cozy solo Phó moments. Oh, yea, I like eating it alone. Company is not encouraged. No noise, no chatter. Do you have certain meals that you like eating by yourself specifically? Please feel free to share your Phó stories with me!
Also, send money? This habit is getting expensive!
I unabashedly refer to the days that lead up to the annualToronto Film Festivalas the “Anxiety Broth that is TIFF prep.”
There are lists to get on, invites to RSVP for, films to attend, hair, make-up and outfits to prepare. I oftentimes find myself in the swampy trenches of being uncharacteristically needy and pandering to self-important publicists, handlers + wranglers; it’s an art form, really.
After 12 years attending the film festival, the foreboding agita and onerous pressure when attempting to cover this mammoth entity ceases to abate. Being that I am leashed up to my Twitter-feed 24/7, comes the constant realisation that I’m missing out on something, and trying to play catch up can be exhausting. One thing that was absent in my earliest days of TIFF was the cacophony of cellular noise, and in many ways I feel we’ve lost a sense of being present and in the moment. Technology giveth—that’s certain, but man does it ever taketh away.
But alas, this sounds all first world complainy. The truth is, once my footing is secure and smoke-signals are all approved, TIFF is never short of being an incredible experience.
What is always a saccharine-laced pleasure are the gifting lounges that I’m loyally invited to, where I become introduced to likeminded plebes, brands and important charitable causes. They are a welcomed balm from all the chaos, and oftentimes where the most valuable connections are made. While the film purists might disagree, I believe they are an essential component to the festival and a great boon for Canadian brands to get noticed on an international level. NKPR’sIT LOUNGE curated by president Natasha Koifman is usually my first stop. It’s always a wonderful pastiche of intermingling with celebrities, models, athletes, media personalities, fellow journos, friends and strangers alike. It’s a vibrant social experience with an incredible live DJ, and incidentally where I do my best day-drinking.
It was here that I met pro Hockey Player (and Chris Hemsworth doppelgänger) Michael Kostka and got to try on the GOLD MEDAL of Olympic winner and Amazing Race Canada contestant Natalie Spooner! I also had the pleasure of bumping into the gorgeous gals from CTV’s The Social, and yes, I know I look like I gotta-go-tinkles in the photo below.
…Fetching Aren’t I?
I loved interacting with the brand reps from Davids Tea, Rudsakand Yogen Früz (all companies that originate from my hometown of Montreal no less!) Yogen Früz were promoting their Pink Velvet froyo, wherby 10% of the proceeds go to The Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation from September to October, a cause that is close to my heart.
#SupportHealthyCups Campaign. Brilliant!
Despite it being a sweltering day and the pace inside the IT LOUNGE fast and furious, I dab on my newly procured calming Saje Wellnessessential oils, take a deep breath and continue on with the days schedule.
Next up, I head over to the International Hotel on Front St. to check out The Tastemakers Lounge which celebrating its tenth year at the festival. Tastemakers is flawlessly run by Rock It Promotions Debra-Goldblatt and Divine Lab’s Leesa Butler, in incidentally was the 1st celebrity gifting suite to ever appear at TIFF.
Happy 10th Anniversary TasteMakers!
Myself + Leesa Butler
Tastemakers is much more of a private enclave in a subdued suite, and I instantaneously take off my oppressive heels and sink into the plush carpet. “Tastemakers is an oasis and a respite for celebrities and media to get away from the craziness,” says Butler who escorts me around the suite personally. Like the IT LOUNGE there is an emphasis here on Canadian brands like Danier Leather, Sorel Boots, and Lush Cosmetics. Lush technically started in England, but had its first international store in Vancouver and continues to supply all 150 stores from its two cosmetic kitchens located there as well.
I can’t say enough about Lush Cosmetics. This is a company that truly cares about its eco-footprint, fights animal testing, buys their products ethically and gives back in on-going charitable campaigns. At Tastemakers they were promoting their Charity Pothand and body lotion, which helps support grassroots charities such as Girls Rock Camp Toronto.
While I could go on about the other lounges that pop up during the festival, the aforementioned are truly the Gold Standard when it comes to TIFF. I did enjoy a visit to the Variety Magazine Lounge at Holt Renfrew where I had a chat with Scott Speedman about how he was a terrible interview back in the day. He sheepishly admitted that he is much better today, and that it was just a matter of “shyness“. ‘Keep talking gorgeous…’ I think to myself as he tells me he doesn’t miss Toronto and loves living in L.A.—adding that “Toronto has come a long way though!”
I also saw Willem Dafoe there who is surprisingly hobbit-height for someone who is so commanding on the big screen. Ethan Hawke also came by and he looked incredible with a great aura about him. It was a great way to spend an afternoon (and day-drink tequila) while hearing about a comedic celebrity who was in the day before who had everyone removed in the lounge to be alone. It was a surprising egocentricity (he didn’t want to be looked at?!) I had not expected to hear from this barely A-list star whose name will go unmentioned.
I‘m not here to mince words or my online sense of entitled arm-chair criticism—so here goes…
I thought Season 3 of GIRLS was terrible.
Yes, the show that I dripped candle wax poetry about as being the most authentic show on television felt in several cases criminally unrealistic .
I know I’m severely lateon the feedback portion of this dialogue. I only watched season 3 recently in bulk/marathon styles and I realise Lena et al are KNEE-DEEP in creating Season 4—but this all still needs to be said.
Where to begin?
Let’s talk about these four RANDOM main characters who seem to have zero roots or depth to their friendship? I no longer see the connection between any of these ladies, whatsoever? I liked the former story line of how Marnie + Hannah were drifting apart—I thought that was authentic—and yet she is brought back into Hannah’s fray as if either of them need each other?
They DON’T!
Also who is JESSA? No really, besides having zero boundaries and dirt poor impulse control, who is this PERSON?!
The only thing about her that I can relate to is that we all have that sexual exhibitionist female friend who loves to lay on guys, on girls, loves to just cozy up seemingly anywhere, and has no hang ups with their own body or sense of personal space. That being said…the character she plays become has become full-on caricature. Some of the story arcs were preposterous? Her job at the children’s clothing store? The way she slacked off and harassed the customers into pressure buying, if and when she was paying attention? The long-lost friend who feigned her own death to get rid of her? Absurd?!
No We Can’t Jessa?!
Jessa is Harem-Scarem-reckless—and I still don’t quite know why she is like this, besides the fact she had an absent father?
Her stay in ‘rehab’ seemed to be a full on parody. The other ‘patients’ were all cookie-cutter sitcom paradigms. Was it REALLY necessary for her to go down on her female rehab mate? Was that GIRLS answer to diversity?
Why were there no repercussions/discussions between her and Hannah on her return? Sure, she doesn’t ask much from Hannah, but where is the culpability? Where is the connective tissue? Why are these two women FRIENDS? TELL ME? I’m. Dying. To. Know.
Your early 20’s is when your female friendships are at an all time enmeshment. These gals are acting all mid-30’s and shit—when you take on friends that conveniently fit into your adult schedule, like mommy/baby-group friends, or chicks you do pilates with.
I ‘get’ that Hannah is somewhat of a door mat in the friendship space, but please tell me, why any of these four characters are still sharing a communal sense of reciprocal oxygen?
You had a chance to have all four of them have at it, so to speak. To have them examine the after-math of the drunken lashings that were handed out the night before at the beach-house in North Fork.
…And yet, you glossed over it the next morning. With some more choreography. It breathed of LAZY.
Character Studies
Let’s talk Shoshanna?
Shoshanna’s Braided Mullet
Her sing-song neurotic timbre at first was charming. But really, no-one past eleven talks that way. No-one.
Also its clear she has never had an orgasm during sex, as she is never truly in her body nor present during her sex scenes.
I think a great story arc for Shoshanna, would be to be introduced to a variety of personal ‘appliances‘ if you catch my drift. There are myriad sure-fire methods that someone like Shoshanna needs. Perhaps her vocal hysterics will abate? Actually, I think it would be a great ‘excuse’ and/or panacea for her to calm the eff down.
Also clearly the girl has some skillz in the hair dept? She should go to beauty school and start working at a salon. Her jibber-jabber is perfect for the salon set. Also hair dryers can drown her out. Next! Ray has got-to-go.
Ray…You are the weakest link…GOODBYE!
No really. He no longer belongs here. He looks about 43 and he is utterly joyless.
This is not *F*R*I*E*N*D*S—he is not resigned to playing the resident GUNTHER at the coffee shop that none of the characters have any reason to visit. His story arc has reached its apogee. It can be a work-related Java accident!
*Also he may have murdered Hannah’s boss (another story arc that was disjointed + left me with a hundred questions) after they got into that weird bar fight. Yes, he must be eradicated.
Last complaint. Correct me if I am wrong. But I recall what felt like an earnest former quote of yours dear Lena, to keep the guest stars or celebrities to a minimum—like the way I make everyone promise me there will be no math? I believe this was a promise of yours fairly early on, to give lessor known actors a chance. Season 3 was overflowing with celebrity spots? The ones that were incredible were Richard E Grant who played Jaspar the manic codependent accomplice to Jessa’s drug-addled spiral. And while it’s implausible to picture Gaby Hoffman as anything but the adorable kid from Uncle Buck—her role as Adam’s crazy-cakes sister ‘Caroline’ was fun to watch—even if her character is better-suited for the Groundlings stage.
Caroline’s Seduction Dance…
Perhaps I’m being to harsh and these aren’t exactly A-list celebrities that you are casting. Also it needs to be said that Gaby Hoffman had a pretty difficult year in 2013 so giving an old friend a gig was really commendable. I don’t see why you needed to cast Amy Schumer in the first episode—she has her own hit show, and that Felicity Jones intervention story-line was unwatchable. Was she wearing a set of rabbit-teeth?
Also Rita Wilson? Here’s a question…what for?
***
The good news here is that both Hannah’s + Adam’s characters are still the paste that keeps the papier-mâché of GIRLS all artsy-craftsy. In other words…I like what you’ve done with the place.
Both Characters Were True to Themselves…
And even though I would never befriend anyone like perfect-patty-controlling Marnie in real-life, I think you’ve given her character tons of great scenarios to chew on in Season 3. I did feel ever so slightly ripped off that she was abandoned by her ex in a story arc that we never got to see? Surely we deserved a soft-focus flash black sequence at the very minimum?
For season 4, I foresee that dreamy Desi and Marnie are going to finally get together. She will fall madly and deeply in love with him. She’s going to change the way she dresses and talks, and turn her whole life around to accommodate his ‘busy actor’ schedule. She is going to lose herself in him and bore (new!) friends by talking incessantly about how “talented he is“.
Desi’s Piercing Eyes…
He’s going to teach her about music and literature and they’re going to have crazy Tantric Sex and then he’ll eventually turn on her, tell her she doesn’t understand/respect his “art,” go back to his ex and Marnie will be forever ruined. Its going to be fantastic!
The best teeth in the biz!
*As a side-bar; where can I procure a set of actress Allison Williams fine dental-ware? They are like perfect tiny stucco buildings. Please don’t tell me they are natural? That is sooooo something Marnie would say.
And after all is said and done, the final story arc that Jessa was involved in with that older artist was gripping. It almost made up for the first nine episodes. I am curious to see how that all plays out.
To that end, it goes without saying that I can’t even imagine how difficult it is to write, produce and star in your own show Lena? So please don’t take any of this personally. I just hope that Season 4 ties up these loose ends and adds that initial spark of reality back that made GIRLSshine so bright. These characters aren’t all bound to one another. This is HBO, not a confined sitcom space where all characters must remain together, forever? Go rogue like that Game of Thrones director. At the very least, introduce some new female friends? This is not a foursome that makes any sense, any longer.
Yes it’s fall, the most substantial fashion-procuring-season of the year.
I don’t know about you, but ‘Winter-Fashion’ isa mammoth oxymoron in my humble opinion. I end up looking like the late Robin Williams in The Fisher Kingjust trying to survive the harsh elements. And in summer? I’m pretty much bra-less with a sweaty upper lip area. How fashion fits into that sexy mess is a mystery to me?
…So for your UNISEX pleasure I bring you Fall Fashion Trends for both Guys + Dolls.
N.B. There are no choices with fur in any of my offerings because I find it grotesque and cruel, oh and this.
GUYS
Shopping for you dudes was a difficult task as the majority of runway ‘looks‘ were like one big glittery Liberace carnival-float (not that there’s anything wrong with that…) However it’s not exactly what I could see my own man wearing, let alone my beloved readers. So, I cherry-picked some looks that I believe will appeal to a wide array of taste buds, while remaining on trend.
Orange is the New Black
Orange as a color palette is huge for menswear Fall 2014. To simplify, I plucked a couple of wearable looks for you to choose from. From Left to Right DSQAURED Quilted Bomber Jacket, Strellson Zinc Cotton Pants, Gucci Running Shoes.
DSquared Bomber Jacket
Strellson Zinc Pants
Personally I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing this vomitus carrot garbage, but don’t blame the messenger! Hint: get 1 statement piece, like a staple jacket for example. Like Tim Gunn says: “Make it Work People!”
Bag It
The latest bags for fall 2014 are sizable boxy carry-on’s in bold colored prints and fabrics. DSQUARED showed off some great bags at their runway show as did Etro and Burberry Prorsum.
DSQAURED
DSQAURED
Etro
Burberry Prorsum
Might I also add that j’adore the entire DSQAURED ‘look’ from head to toe? How hawt are those incredible shoes?! *Click onto photo for magnified view.
Designer Kicks
…Speaking of shoes (+ awful segues) Designer running shoes are all la RAGE and I couldn’t help but become enraptured with these Balenciaga stunners + these Tom Ford red velvet high-tops.
Did Somebody say Velvet? (See what I did there?)
Whenever I hear someone say ‘Velvet‘ I automatically think of this classic scene from Coming to America…
Beyond being cruelty-free, velvet is a playful textured fabric and was seen all over the runways for fall 2014. Vibrant colors, pinstripes and patterns took center-stage courtesy of dandy-esque suits via Dolce + Gabbana and Etro.
Dolce + Gabbana
Dolce +Gabbana
As a footnote, I’m not a huge fan of the resurgence of the double-breasted suit as I don’t think it does anyone any favors.
Except for Letterman.
Dave’s Double Breasted vintage game was always TIGHT!
Kick Ass Boots
Like the title suggest, think Clock Work Orangemeets well-worn Biker Boots and you have Fall 2014 strongest trend of all.
John Varvatos pretty much cornered the market in his runway fall show depicting a Rock-Star/Draconian aesthetic with boots worthy of a modern-day rough and tumble. (I don’t even know what that means?)
Up Close: Left John Varvatos Bowery Button Boot Right: Freeman Raw Edge Boot.
So there you have it GUYS. A little piece of my fashion doyen-ism just for you.
Most importantly the paramount FALL 2014 non-negotiable is to shave off your HIPSTER BEARDS for GOOD.
BUH BYE HIPSTER BEARD
No-one wants to see anymore of that nonsense…DEAL?
∗∗∗
DOLLS
“Hey Ladies in the place I’m callin’ out to ya…“-Beastie Boys
Just to reiterate, I won’t be showing any fur options despite there being an onslaught of it on the runways for fall 2014. Fur is for animals, NOT for people. Repeat 10x fast: Fur is a Faux-Pas!
Kaleidoscope Prints
As an evangelist for all things colorful, I was pleased to see a smattering of gorgeous prints on the runways.
Delicious swirls of Aurelia Boralis-like hues at Givenchy, fairy tale flowers + butterflies at Valentino (the cape also a HUGE trend for fall 2014!) + a 60’s inspired offering from Temperly London.
Givenchy
Valentino
Temperly London
Might I add that the ENTIRETemperly Londonpre-fall collection (I actually prefer it to the winter collection) expressed the inner landscape of my fashion sensibilities better than anything I’ve seen in recent years? Alice Temperly is a tour-de-force!
Sheer Perfection
The sheer trend was also prominent on the runway with peek-a-boo ethereal elegance via Givenchy,Michael Kors + Roberto Cavalli.
Givenchy
Michael Kors
Roberto Cavalli
Cozy Knits
The head-to-gams knit trend appeals to my need to be swaddled in absolute comfort while staying bra-less for as long as I possibly can. I would happily dress like this exclusively until I’m forced into my mismatched heinous winter ‘drobe. From left to right: Marc Jacobs, cruelty-free designer Stella McCartney + Michael Kors.
Marc Jacobs
Stella McCartney
Michael Kors
Braided Hair, Don’t Care
While the braided hair trend is not au courant per se, the Golidlocks powers-that-be kept on pushing their creations to new levels. First up, all hail to Nanette Lapore for creating a variety of braided looks that truly took over her Fall 2014 runway show. Tight French braids that hug the forehead and cascade down the side of the face, tucked underneath, or with a Mad Max meets Pocahontas flair with pinches of hair peeking out. All of these looks are highly covetable, wearable and dripping with mah-jah style!
Additional lovely was seen in a romantic incarnations of ‘bun-braids’ at Dolce + Gabbana and sleek hair-origami at Fendi.
Metallic Kiss + Make-Up
Incandescent metallics, glittery pigments+ gun metals are the signature look for eyes, lips + nails for fall 2014. Sweeps of silver at Emporio Armani + Mac, while Chanel adds a pop of color to further enhance the trend.
Up Close inspirations with a Black Swan *feel* left at Chanel right at Dior.
Furthermore, I am absolutely head-ovah-heels for this entire ‘LEWK’ from Rodarte Fall 2014, curated by François Nars.
I’m purrrrrrrrrrring over the 80’s inspired brownish-copper eye shadows that they built up into the eyebrow and the severe cheeks. The lips which make me buckle at the knee are a combination of Nars new Audacious Lipstick line (out fall 2014) + a rainbow confection of actual glitter.
James Kaliardos for NARS Cosmetics did a professional version of a glitter-lip for the runway. He mixed four different colors of loose glitter (silver, red, pink, and lavender) with either NARS Audacious Dominique Lipstick for the lighter ‘lewk’ or Audacious Deborah for the darker version.
Oh hey Nars? Could you not come out with an all-in-one-version? The last time I created DIY makeup, it was with the craptastic kit known as Fresh n’ Fancy™? The homogeny of questionable synthetics, beakers + funnels?
The DIY kit for Every 80’s Tween
Glitter is messy, and I fear my cat might find and choke on this melee of unicorn vomit and ruin what should be an amazing lipstick moment for me? At the very least, think about making a glossy-glitter adjunct for the market place?
…And finally the metallic trend is the statement nail trend this fall, not to be confused with Grandma’s pearlescent nail-sexy. Mix it up by trying a variety of colors, play around with an inverted French manicure or straight shooting metallic silver. The trick is to keep your nails short + sheik!
Now take all you’ve learned here and spread it around like fashion confetti! And if you see me at a TIFF party with glitter on my teeth or swirling around in my DRANK, its because like you, I’m just trying my best to stay on trend—Damn you NARS!
2013 was the year of the Hipster Beard—the full-on grisly growth that was prominently displayed on men wherever free-trade coffee + muesli vegan/gluten-free energy bars were sold. Wheras many a hipster-dude shaved off their beards for the sweltering summer months, a new trend for diehards popped up in its place—The Hipster Flower Beard!
Falling in line with the economical hipster-ethos, the flowers should be plucked from nature—the smaller the buds the better—think baby’s breath size!
Baby’s Breath Makes a Perfect Flower Beard Accent!
While the itty bitty fleurs look fab in many an Instagram artful portraiture, I was curious to see how this trend handled on a day-in-the-life-test drive courtesy of Bustle.com, but remember results vary!
Be on the lookout for this delightful trend to show up at many an outdoor hipster wedding, the last of the summer music festivals or any variant on a SAVE THE BEES march/protest.
Remember, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your flowers, but you CAN’T pick your friends flower beards!
The Pop Culture Rainman™ 