The Truth About Harvey Weinstein

 Photo Credit: Peter Strain for Variety Magazine

 

It was 2003 at the Toronto Film Festival and I was a newly minted Canadian stringer for People magazine.

I can’t say I wasn’t enjoying the power that my press badge afforded me that year; doors opened, publicists waved me through, A-list celebrities stopped to talk to me on a dime.

Because smart phones were still a new phenom, and the iPhone ephemera non-existent, I had a bird’s eye view of celebrities unguarded and letting loose at various parties that simply wouldn’t be possible today.

Over imbibed on champagne and enjoying the exclusivity of VIP after hours access, I recall a young male Los Angeles director telling me about the nefarious practices of Harvey Weinstein. He mentioned Gwyneth Paltrow and the Machiavellian sex pact that she previously had to make with Weinstein to sustain all of her Miramax roles.

I balked in disbelief.

Gwyneth Paltrow—she of the alpha female variety, with baked-in familial ties to Hollywood, seemed pristinely above something as seedy as the clichéd Hollywood casting couch?

Trust me it’s true,” he said with an authority that made me feel sheepishly naïve.

Why do I mention this instance in the wake of the recent Harvey Weinstein scandal?

Before I go on, I want to make it abundantly clear, I believe all women, full stop.

It’s just that when we speak of entertainment, or specifically Hollywood, lines become blurred and statements are vetted, or alternately—fully written by publicists. This is a business based on public opinion, likability and keeping up appearances, and the truth isn’t always applicable. The truth can put brands and businesses in peril.

Many celebrities came forward since the New York Times piece about Harvey Weinstein broke two weeks ago. Each of them a unique weather system of their own truths, accounts, and opinions. I could not help but become obsessed with championing Rose McGowans Twitter feed, and thought Canadian Mia Kirshner had written the most compelling and moving op ed, that is until I read Canadian Sarah Polley’s op ed.

Meryl Streep had a statement of veritable shock and awe, George Clooney had a ‘safe statement’ that pivoted in every direction but straight—specific enough to mention that he “never saw anything,” and Gwyneth Paltrow had soft core allegations towards the man that she worked with repeatedly.

Gretchen Mol took the opportunity to tell the world that she was never one of Harvey’s girls.

Jessica Alba remained silent and continued to tweet about Haircare + Decluttering Ones Life for her business The Honest Company ←yes the irony is thick.

Blake Lively another rumoured compliant, was radio silent for 48 hours until her latest film “All I See is You” is due out and a story about her being harassed by someone ‘other’ than HW is added to the mix. The title alone: Blake Lively Shares Her Own Story of Hollywood Harassment  feels like publicity driven clickbait pablum, and I wonder if again this was a choice, a buffer, a diversion to be put out as to not takeaway from her new film. It’s hard to believe she was spared Harvey’s advances.

Georgina Chapman announces she is divorcing her husband, articles about Marchesa’s fate hanging in the balance are written and within this maelstrom of empathy, support, accusations and announcements, I can’t help but feel like I’m witnessing a “Wag the Dog” performance on the part of many. The mechanism of the statements themselves, are like a Shakespearian play with “entrances and exists,” the perfectly synchronized press releases in conveyer belt succession feel like an expertly played chess game.

Beyond the victims statements and brilliant op eds, plus anything and everything Lena Dunham wrote, it felt like a parade of people TRYING to save their own asses?

The truth? Maybe far more of our favourite actors, the ones who even put out statements of accusations did so as a defense mechanism. Perhaps they were even in touch with Weinstein’s crisis team as they put out their statements. Perhaps, some were even willing (insofar as it wasn’t under forced duress) participants in the unthinkable trade of sex for the promise of career advancement.

I don’t want to shame anyone, but where are all these A list celebrities who, according to Weinstein’s recurring trade pitch/preamble, went along with his offer? And, am I terrible for even thinking this? Does it even matter who they were or weren’t in light of this bigger picture?

One of the few people to expose the truth that “everybody knew” and admit his own personal culpability of silence was director Scott Rosenberg. It’s a must read.  Yes, it’s brave, but let’s face it, he has far less to lose with his transparency than the above aforementioned.

Even Vanity Fair featuring a black and white photo of Weinstein on their latest issue with the sobering caption Game Over, took Miramax’s ad dollars for decades.  They actively sacked stories that were percolating about Weinstein and yet here they are to add their truths into the ‘shake down’ Cuisinart.

I revert back to that night in 2003 when, whether fact or fiction, I became privy to the Weinstein rumours/heresy and I was not remotely seeking it out. I was merely an off-duty/unknown freelancer and even I got an earful.

You want the truth about Harvey Weinstein and the rest of Hollywood, their knowledge and or complicities’?

Maybe we can’t handle the truth.

Maybe it’s obliquely liminal like one of my favourite quotes from August: Osage County the Pulitzer play turned film, distributed by the Weinstein Company, natch.

In the scene, character Tracy Letts played brilliantly by Juliette Lewis tells her judgemental sister about sacrifices that she’s had to make. Sacrifices she’s not proud of but that were made for her own survival.

My point is, it’s not cut and dried, black and white, good and bad. It lives where everything lives: somewhere in the middle. Where everything lives, where all the rest of us live, everyone but you.

― Tracy Letts, August: Osage County

***


 

Charlie Sheen HIV Admission; Paints Himself As Victim of Extortion

 

Charlie Sheen decided after four years to “come forward” on the Today Show this morning to admit he has been living with HIV.  He played on the well thought-out, PR-vetted vertical that he was being extorted for millions by “unsavory” characters that are responsible for putting his children’s futures in peril. He came off as incredibly disingenuous and shifty, playing the blame game all throughout. He couldn’t even answer Matt Lauer’s straightforward line of questioning as to how he thought he got the disease. He couldn’t even muster an answer, but adamantly denied the use of “needles.”

The man who is normally quick on the draw for come backs and quips couldn’t come up with an answer? I mean who could EVER predict that a raging alcoholic and drug addict who has unprotected sex with porn stars and hookers possibly get HIV? Hmmm…what. are. the. odds?!

He went on to say he told everyone he has ever slept with about his condition. How so very responsible of him! Was this disclosure mentioned while he free based CRACK off the buttocks off of his harem of sex workers or after? Cause nothing says “responsible disclosure” like four years of back to back obliterated benders.

What a load of GARBAGE?!?!

The whole dog and pony show played out like a carefully calibrated scheme to get in front of whatever is surely around the corner for Charlie Sheen and sway public opinion.

Women who have possibly been unknowingly infected, who will come forward.

Bree Olsen, one of Sheen’s barely legal ex girlfriends, admitted this morning on Howard Stern that she only found out about his condition 3 days ago? Surely she will be burnt at the stake and discredited as the public cannot see past Charlie Sheen the STAHHHHHHHH.

Will others surely to come forward be given the same amount of ‘air time’ to tell their sides of the story? Will all the hookers and ex porn stars be discredited because of their vocation? The same hookers Sheen has seemingly had an unquenchable thirst for since the late 80’s?

This is a reckless cowboy, whose been given free license and even praise for his disturbing behaviour. With this new information, we see clearly that all of his ‘winning’ drug-addled antics were AFTER he got his HIV diagnosis. He’s suddenly labelling the thousands upon thousands of prostitutes he’s enjoyed the services of since the Heidi Fleiss years as unsavory? He brought them all into his fray. HE ALONE, put his children’s emotional well-being, never mind their financial future at risk by his irresponsible and dangerous behavior.

The sympathizers are trying to frame this as the publics stigmatized response to HIV and AIDS? I am in no way trying to shame the terrible disease of HIV?! What I can’t tolerate is Sheen posturing as the new face of HIV, as a victim of others malfeasance and untruths?! That he will hopefully be the impetus for others to come forward, not to be afraid of the HIV stigma?

AM I THE ONLY ONE DROWNING IN THIS OCEAN OF LIES?!?!

If Sheen really cared about helping others and the fight to end the stigma of HIV, he would not have cowered to his alleged extortioners and waited four years to come forward. He would not have spent the last four years of his life post diagnosis in a drug addled sex Bacchanalia haze that would make Caligula blush. Why is *he* suddenly the face of HIV? Magic Johnson, who is living a strong, purposeful life after 20+ years of HIV status can be the face of this terrible disease, (or anyone else for that matter) JUST not Charlie Sheen.

I have zero sympathy for this man and he’s playing all of us, DO NOT buy into what he is selling.

Don’t believe the hype,

XOXO

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The Ashley Madison Hack Aftermath; The Cheaters Named!

**KARMA** is a resting bitch face best served up COLD, my friendsicles! 

Beyond people who hurt children and animals, I would say CHEATERS place 3rd on my ultimate s**t list. If you are going to throw your kibbles and bits around where they don’t belong, then you deserve to be CAUGHT in such a magnified, monumental way! Yes, my Schadenfreude is merciless.

ashleymadison

…And so without further ado, here’s a short run down of the Ashley Madison hack aftermath—post the data dump release of 32 million names.

Kicking Asses & Taking Names

A photo illustration shows the Ashley Madison website displayed on a smartphone in Toronto, August 20, 2015. Love lives and reputations may be at risk after the release of customer data from infidelity website Ashley Madison, an unprecedented breach of privacy likely to rattle users' attitudes towards the Internet. Hackers dumped a big cache of data containing millions of email addresses for U.S. government officials, UK civil servants and high-level executives at European and North America corporations late on Tuesday, the latest cyber attack to raise concerns about Internet security and data protection. REUTERS/Mark Blinch - RTX1OZ5D

REUTERS/Mark Blinch

The more notable cheeeetah‘s on the list have been Josh Dugger who sang like a canary, admitting his ‘hypocritical’ misgivings as soon as his name became public. Good thing he didn’t play the DENY card, as just yesterday news surfaced that Dugger recently hired a porn star he did not meet on Ashley Madison. Even more worrisome, said porn star claims that she was manhandled in a ‘terrifying‘ way by Dugger who paid her $1500.00 for the deed. Dugger has now checked into a “faith-based” addiction rehab?!?! and this entire story (including the former sexual abuse of his sisters) makes me want to boil my brain with bleach.

Dad Surprise Preg Video Guy

Speaking of religious zealots, Christian vlogger Sam Radar is also hiding behind Jesus & JC’s Daddy after being named, but claims he was merely a Looky-loo troll (ya, right?!) who never went beyond curiosity…

The account was open out of pure, fleshly desires and sinful curiosity. I’ve sought forgiveness to God and he has forgiven me. I never met with a single person face-to-face from that website and that I never had an affair with anybody, ever.” —Liar Liar Pants on FIYAH

realityshow z listers emphasis on zzzz

…The husbands of Z-list reality stars with an emphasis on the Zzzzz’s have also been CAUGHT in the Ashley Madison crosshairs. Jionni Lavalle and his wife the Pokémon guidette of Jersey Shore fame—Snooki (on Left) are denying the allegations with a united front. Real Housewives *star* Kristen Taekman’s millionaire husband Josh Taekman (on Right) first tried to deny the allegations, but after it surfaced that he accessed ie; paid the site 62 times—he reissued a lie statement that he signed up as a ‘joke’ with friends.

Jokes on you buddy as you try to super glue your marriage together! I hope she takes you to the cleaners!!!

While other names have floated through this scandal, a former prosecutor, a Texan police chief, so far its all very Maury Povich quality wouldn’t you agree? I’m looking for A-list names! Where are all the cheating A-Listers?!

Christmas in July

While divorce lawyers are claiming a huge spike in business hence the moniker ‘Christmas in July’ reputation PR firms are also seeing a boon in biz.

According to the CEO of Reputation Management Consultants Eric Schiffer, the firm has received dozens of “desperate calls” from “some very famous and wealthy people“.

We’ve received unbelievably desperate calls from famous politicians, top celebrities and extremely wealthy executives freaking out!”

Is Schiffers online PR prowess and those like him the reason we haven’t been privy to these more powerful figures? Can money protect these titans from eventually being named? According to Schiffer it depends on what email address was used and if it can be traced back to the rogue scallywag hubbies→my words not his. He did say “Eventually though, they perhaps will [be found out]” denoting that he’s more of a picking up the pieces service, as opposed to a firm that can make the pieces disappear altogether.

Several spinoff crimes are popping up, whereby sites that promise to remove alleged names from the database list for a fee, are simply scams and only exposing people to viruses and malware.

Time will tell as this is a list that is ripening in real-time, with every day bringing forth a new hall of shame. Stay Tuned!

A couple of updates on the case at large:

Last week 2 Canadian law firms filed a $578 million anonymous class action suit against Ashley Madison’s parent company Avid Life Dating, and a litany of others have followed. Read about the suits that totals to a half a billion dollars here from NBC news. Many of the plaintiffs believe the company had ample time to warn its users to remove themselves from the site as well as protect their privacy better with available encoding technology.

On their end of this fracas, Ashley Madison is offering a $500,000 reward for information on the hackers. Considering the Canadian dollar is at an all time low, it’s truly chump change for anyone in the US.

Personally, I think they should save their Nancy Drew money—they’re going to need it!

XOXO

Faithfully Yours,

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New York Magazine Website Hacked After Cosby: The Women Cover Goes Viral

Photo: New York Magazine © All Right Reserved

Last evening, I was stopped in my virtual tracks as my eyes clocked in on the latest cover of New York Magazine.

The cover, nevermore appropriate in a sobering black and white photograph, displays 35 accusers of Bill Cosby (out of an alleged 46). All 35 women, who range in age from mid 20’s to 80’s are sitting stoically, hands on laps with an impactful gaze staring forward. The last empty chair suggests the possibility of additional women who have yet to come forward. The ones still afraid to have their faces shown. The caption, tastefully understated on the bottom right corner reads, Cosby: THE WOMEN An Unwelcome Sisterhood.

It’s sobering. It’s impactful and painfully sad.

I perused through many of these ladies personal accounts and listened to six of them tell their stories via taped interviews—all of which broke my heart. Iconic 1970’s ‘blonde ditzy’ actress turned lawyer Louisa Moritz’s story is so graphic, her delivery of the account is so wounded, so passively helplessit reeks of a sinister Hollywood male entitlement that infuriates.

The irrevocable damage is seen all over her face and heard in the tenor of her speech.

Another woman Barbara Bowman recounts a two-year nightmare where she was forced to be Cosby’s sex slave. She was repeatedly and viciously attacked, likening her inability to escape to that of a kidnap victim despite having free rein.

Photo: New York Magazine © All Right Reserved

I never thought I would hear 70-year-old elderly women have to publicly use such explicit sexual language in describing their accounts, but I’m proud of them for releasing their truth. I stand with them all in solidarity. How brave they all are.

The last empty chair suggesting the possibility of additional women who have yet to come forward. The ones still afraid to have their faces shown.

I was excited to wake up this am to see the full impact the late breaking cover would have had on the collective zeitgeist, but to my shock I noticed the New York Magazine website was down. I wasn’t sure if it was a traffic overload snafu or if something more nefarious was at play? Who was trying to silence these heroic women?!

I quickly learned it was the workings of a hacker named Threat King who was able to keep the site inaccessible for 9 hours beginning at 2.30 am. The odd lunacy of it all, is that said hacker didn’t even see the Cosby cover and didn’t do it as a revolt against the women. His reasoning for the take down was because cause he “hates New York“?! And what more emblematic of New York than the magazine which bears its name? I’m just glad this maniacal kook blacked out a website and nothing more.

ThreatKing first claimed responsibility for the attack under the Twitter handle @Vikingdom2016. The hacking group Vikingdom garnered some attention earlier this year by claiming attacks on some random government websites, including maine.gov for a few hours.

As of 11:40 am the NY Magazine site is back up and running. A great thing, considering the social impact this cover is having and the ability for everyone to have access to it online.

I can’t underscore more how important, how historically monumental it will prove to be for decades to come.

Humbled by their bravery + honesty,

XOXOXO

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Update: As of 1:40 pm I notice that the New York Magazine website is once again down. Will follow-up. *Perhaps we should all return exclusively to PRINT MEDIA?!?! Can people hijack a printing press?

Update: NY Magazine nymag.com is up and running as of 2:10 pm.

 

Rainy East Coast…Summer Where Art Thou?

tumblr-mc7hntpb8m1qis9hro1-500

It’s been a miserable RAINY 48 hours for most of us on the East Coast, with seasonally lower-than-normcore temperatures all around.

Naturally this begs the question; Summer where art thou…and why have you forsaken us?

Canadians take their summers very seriously. Our window of warmth is basically 4 months long (or short!) depending on how you view your cup ‘o life. So far I’m feeling rather gypped in the weather dept—the sun has been all crickets & tumbleweeds styles. I mean, July 1st is around the corner + I’ve yet to experience one of those hot, balmy, patio nights!?!?

…Last nights rainstorm felt like this

ku-medium

…Prompting me to create this meme after finding some rando’s patio umbrella in my driveway this morning.

We

I have a healthy fear that summer won’t come at all by the looks of the weeks forecast?!

…So I will leave it in Pebbles + Bam Bam’s hands—if only for the nostalgic, cozy, feel-good factor.

Let the Sunshine in Y’all,
XOXO

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Lena We Have a Problem; Why Season 4 of GIRLS Could be my Last.

I‘m not here to mince words or my online sense of entitled arm-chair criticism—so here goes…

I thought Season 3 of GIRLS was terrible.

girls-season-3-poster-620x400

Yes, the show that I dripped candle wax poetry about as being the most authentic show on television felt in several cases criminally unrealistic .

I know I’m severely late on the feedback portion of this dialogue. I only watched season 3 recently in bulk/marathon styles and I realise Lena et al are KNEE-DEEP in creating Season 4—but this all still needs to be said. 

Where to begin?

Let’s talk about these four RANDOM main characters who seem to have zero roots or depth to their friendship? I no longer see the connection between any of these ladies, whatsoever? I liked the former story line of how Marnie + Hannah were drifting apart—I thought that was authentic—and yet she is brought back into Hannah’s fray as if either of them need each other?

They DON’T!

Also who is JESSA? No really, besides having zero boundaries and dirt poor impulse control, who is this PERSON?!

The only thing about her that I can relate to is that we all have that sexual exhibitionist female friend who loves to lay on guys, on girls, loves to just cozy up seemingly anywhere, and has no hang ups with their own body or sense of personal space. That being said…the character she plays become has become full-on caricature. Some of the story arcs were preposterous? Her job at the children’s clothing store? The way she slacked off and harassed the customers into pressure buying, if and when she was paying attention? The long-lost friend who feigned her own death to get rid of her? Absurd?! 

No We Can’t Jessa?!

Jessa is Harem-Scarem-reckless—and I still don’t quite know why she is like this, besides the fact she had an absent father?

Her stay in ‘rehab’ seemed to be a full on parody. The other ‘patients’ were all cookie-cutter sitcom paradigms. Was it REALLY necessary for her to go down on her female rehab mate? Was that GIRLS answer to diversity? 

Why were there no repercussions/discussions between her and Hannah on her return? Sure, she doesn’t ask much from Hannah, but where is the culpability? Where is the connective tissue? Why are these two women FRIENDS? TELL ME? I’m. Dying. To. Know.

Your early 20’s is when your female friendships are at an all time enmeshment. These gals are acting all mid-30’s and shit—when you take on friends that conveniently fit into your adult schedule, like mommy/baby-group friends, or chicks you do pilates with.

I ‘get’ that Hannah is somewhat of a door mat in the friendship space, but please tell me, why any of these four characters are still sharing a communal sense of reciprocal oxygen?

You had a chance to have all four of them have at it, so to speak. To have them examine the after-math of the drunken lashings that were handed out the night before at the beach-house in North Fork.

…And yet, you glossed over it the next morning. With some more choreography. It breathed of LAZY.

Character Studies

Let’s talk Shoshanna?

Shoshanna's Braided Mullet

Shoshanna’s Braided Mullet

Her sing-song neurotic timbre at first was charming. But really, no-one past eleven talks that way. No-one.

Also its clear she has never had an orgasm during sex, as she is never truly in her body nor present during her sex scenes.

I think a great story arc for Shoshanna, would be to be introduced to a variety of personal ‘appliances‘ if you catch my drift. There are myriad sure-fire methods that someone like Shoshanna needsPerhaps her vocal hysterics will abate? Actually, I think it would be a great ‘excuse’ and/or panacea for her to calm the eff down.

Also clearly the girl has some skillz in the hair dept? She should go to beauty school and start working at a salon. Her jibber-jabber is perfect for the salon set. Also hair dryers can drown her out. Next!                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Ray has got-to-go.

Ray...You are the weakest link...GOODBYE!

Ray…You are the weakest link…GOODBYE!

No really. He no longer belongs here. He looks about 43 and he is utterly joyless.

This is not *F*R*I*E*N*D*S—he is not resigned to playing the resident GUNTHER at the coffee shop that none of the characters have any reason to visitHis story arc has reached its apogee. It can be a work-related Java accident!

*Also he may have murdered Hannah’s boss (another story arc that was disjointed + left me with a hundred questions) after they got into that weird bar fight. Yes, he must be eradicated.

Last complaint. Correct me if I am wrong. But I recall what felt like an earnest former quote of yours dear Lena, to keep the guest stars or celebrities to a minimum—like the way I make everyone promise me there will be no math? I believe this was a promise of yours fairly early on, to give lessor known actors a chance. Season 3 was overflowing with celebrity spots? The ones that were incredible were Richard E Grant who played Jaspar the manic codependent accomplice to Jessa’s drug-addled spiral. And while it’s implausible to picture Gaby Hoffman as anything but the adorable kid from Uncle Buck—her role as Adam’s crazy-cakes sister ‘Caroline’ was fun to watch—even if her character is better-suited for the Groundlings stage.   

Caroline's Seduction Dance...

Caroline’s Seduction Dance…

Perhaps I’m being to harsh and these aren’t exactly A-list celebrities that you are casting. Also it needs to be said that Gaby Hoffman had a pretty difficult year in 2013 so giving an old friend a gig was really commendable. I don’t see why you needed to cast Amy Schumer in the first episode—she has her own hit show, and that Felicity Jones intervention story-line was unwatchable. Was she wearing a set of rabbit-teeth?

Also Rita Wilson? Here’s a question…what for?

***

The good news here is that both Hannah’s + Adam’s characters are still the paste that keeps the papier-mâché of GIRLS all artsy-craftsy. In other words…I like what you’ve done with the place.

Both Characters Were True to Themselves...

Both Characters Were True to Themselves…

And even though I would never befriend anyone like perfect-patty-controlling Marnie in real-life, I think you’ve given her character tons of great scenarios to chew on in Season 3. I did feel ever so slightly ripped off that she was abandoned by her ex in a story arc that we never got to see? Surely we deserved a soft-focus flash black sequence at the very minimum?  

For season 4, I foresee that dreamy Desi and Marnie are going to finally get together. She will fall madly and deeply in love with him. She’s going to change the way she dresses and talks, and turn her whole life around to accommodate his ‘busy actor’ schedule. She is going to lose herself in him and bore (new!) friends by talking incessantly about how “talented he is“.

Desi’s Piercing Eyes…

He’s going to teach her about music and literature and they’re going to have crazy Tantric Sex and then he’ll eventually turn on her, tell her she doesn’t understand/respect his “art,” go back to his ex and Marnie will be forever ruined. Its going to be fantastic!

The best teeth in the biz!

The best teeth in the biz!

*As a side-bar; where can I procure a set of actress Allison Williams fine dental-ware? They are like perfect tiny stucco buildings. Please don’t tell me they are natural? That is sooooo something Marnie would say.

And after all is said and done, the final story arc that Jessa was involved in with that older artist was gripping. It almost made up for the first nine episodes. I am curious to see how that all plays out.

To that end, it goes without saying that I can’t even imagine how difficult it is to write, produce and star in your own show Lena? So please don’t take any of this personally. I just hope that Season 4 ties up these loose ends and adds that initial spark of reality back that made GIRLS shine so bright. These characters aren’t all bound to one another. This is HBO, not a confined sitcom space where all characters must remain together, forever? Go rogue like that Game of Thrones director. At the very least, introduce some new female friends? This is not a foursome that makes any sense, any longer.

I heart Hannah Horvath...

I heart Hannah Horvath…

I have faith Lena Dunham,          

XOXO                                                                                                                                                                                                                         The Pop Culture Rainman

 

Ellen Page Officially Comes Out

I‘ve been a fan of actress Ellen Page’s work ever since she appeared in the Indie hit Juno. She’s always had a great mix of intelligence, humor, depth and humility in every role she has taken on, and while I haven’t met her, she seems as down to earth as they come. She also gets extra brownie points for being Canadian, natch!

Earlier tonight, at the Human Rights Campaign Time to Thrive Conference being held in Las Vegas, Ellen Page came out as a gay woman. She was visibly shaken with nerves and understandably so. The following speech displays her ‘oh so human’ plight, and it was one that moved me beyond words.

I’m truly happy for her, and for anyone she may inspire to authentically walk in their truth, whatever that may be.

‘I Am Tired of Lying by Omission’—Ellen Page

Watch here:

Here’s to compassion & acceptance for all human beings…

XOXO                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 The Pop Culture Rainman

My Definitions of Love & Romance…

Love is...Magic

Love is…Magic

We live in an era where bumper sticker quote sentiments litter our Facebook feeds like an ongoing ticker tape of empowerment narratives and drive-thru therapy.

But long before we liked, pinned, or retweeted these pearls of digiterati, before books, film & pop culture shaped how we navigated our love lives, advice came from our elders and our peers—and within that, sayings that have endured the test of time.

Every Man has heard the adage: “Why Buy the Cow, When You Can Get the Milk for Free? (*To which I just want to respond to in a droning  ‘Mooooooo’ every time I hear it…)

And I don’t know a Woman who hasn’t heard from her own mother… “A Woman should be with a Man who Loves her More…

As a woman I can only respond to the latter, and while it might be controversial, I do think there is a lot to be said for a man who is head over heels in love with his woman. This is not something that is actually quantitative, as in…he loves her 60% and she loves him 40%…but rather a man who puts his love on a pedestal…loves his woman even more than he loves himself, like the above Frida Kahlo quote…he looks at her as though she were absolute  ♥ ♥ MAGIC ♥ ♥…

At the end of the day…Male or Female…Everyone deserves to feel utterly adored if only for moments or for a lifetime. Both can be just as fulfilling.

♪ ‘Love…Exciting and New’

Ahhhh the 80’s TV hit The Love Boat…New Love is incredible, but it has to evolve into something much deeper if it’s going to stand the test of time. After the initial haze of butterflies and sweet nothings, a relationship becomes something that has to be constantly worked on, treasured, and fought for…even if the love itself is effortless.

That being said, as a Cancer female I am a true hopeless romantic.  Below are a couple of visuals on what is the apogee in Romance to me…

Dancing with your partner anytime…anywhere…Verona Italy; the site of Romeo & Juliet…the love poetry of Pablo Neruda and His & Her Couple Tattoos.

…and here are some of my favorite quotes on true love and soul mates…

For my readers old & new…single or attached…Happy Valentines Day to you…Love in all its many permutations is really the most important thing that you can have in your life.

Not money, not things, not accomplishments…

XOXO                                                                                                                                                                                                      The Pop Culture Rainman

Ode to the Vomitous Things You Post on Facebook

Let she without Facebook sin, cast the first blog post about Facebook sinners who annoy the hell out of her. But I digress, for I am a Facebook sinnah just like the rest of you.

Ok, I’ll admit it, my Facebook photo is almost five-years-old and my cankles may or may not be photo shopped up the yin yang—but generally speaking, I like to think I walk in fairly deep puddles and score fairly low on the nausea-inducing scale.

While I’m definitely guilty of the navel gazing “look at me, look at me” post when it comes to wins on my career front, I generally like to stay away from potentially offensive braggadocio updates, and the *cringe* overly personal here’s-my-dirty-laundry-posts.

While Facebook makes us *all* high-definition caricatures of ourselves to varying degrees, there are certain ‘displays’ that make me want to projectile vom all over the universe.

And they’re not mine. They’re yours. So please stop? Like, now?

#1 The Permanent Vacationers.

These are tough economic times. The world-wide economy is in the toilet and most people are struggling just to carve out an existence. But you wouldn’t know it by my Facebook feed, now would ya?

You *do* realise that vacations are a Western privilege and not the ‘norm’? Does it even register that one trip is what most people save for all year long?

I’m particularly allergic to the Chronic Vacationers; Mr. wealthy pants and his wifey who pretends to ‘work’ while they traipse about on vaycay #4 with or without their harem of children. Who can afford such an existence, and they just parade it around ad nauseum on Facebook with complete abandon?!

Yes I’m  sea-foam green with envy, but more importantly, I find it insensitive and particularly out-of-touch to post such privilege when the majority of us are eyeballs deep in Polar Vortex icicles?

I find it particularly pukey when they fake-ask the rest of their  FB “friends” forrecommendations” on where they “should stay in Bora Bora/the Maldives”? “Where should I eat in Ibiza?” “Coastal Antibes?” “Suggestions for activities in the rain-forest of southern Chile?”

That’s just veiled bragging and even before they leave?!

I say call a travel agent if you’re sooooooo confused!!??

Slightly more vomitous than the chronic vacationers is the Male Club Promoter ‘Guy’ who is on the douche rocket ‘party circuit’ tour.

You know the ones; Playa Del Carmen DJ Conference, Nikki Beach, Art Basel (Wash, Rinse, Repeat…)

Basically wherever there is roped-off VIP bottle service on white day-beds and/or possible sightings of Paris. Trust me, REAL VIP’s don’t have roped off sections at clubs or at hotels open to the public. They have private villas, or yachts. Or islands. You’re just a try-hard cheese ball. 

While I hate to be the bearer of blanket statements, the majority of these patrons look like male versions of the singer PitBull on ‘roids, and the gals look like these wholesome demure flowers:

Hey Club Promoter Guy; this is Facebook, not A Small World. Also please stop asking me if I’m coming to Sundance or Cannes? You can barely string an audible sentence together beyond your usual offering of manic winking and fist pounds? A Cinephile you are not.

#2. The Woe is Me/Victim Post

Jill Greenberg ©

These are the posts where you put your private crazies on full display. It makes me want to run and hide on behalf of my embarrassment→for you.  

This is that poster who writes seemingly out of no-where… “Having the worst day of my life,” or “Why do people hurt me, when all I do is give, give givvvvve?”

The one that really makes me want to squirm for your lack of discretion and sad sack undertones is the passive-aggressive post:

Now I know who my real friends are…”

This desperate cry for attention, one that I have no patience for, usually incites others to ask “what’s wrong or “are you ok?” I never take the bait, nor should you. Don’t feed the perennially insecure. You will surely get bit. *Not to be confused with a real call for help. I trust you will know the difference as these posters are repeat whiners offenders.

#3 Announcements of Getting off the Grid

I just want to say, that after five years of enjoying this medium, sadly I will be leaving Facebook to further work on the things in my real outside life that I have been neglecting. I will no longer be on here as of next month, but I just want you to know how much I…

[Record Scratch]

Ummm. Just get the eff off?! No one cares if you are leaving Facebook or Twitter, or if you will just be tweeting once a week? Just leave! Go ahead and tweet once a week? No need for the dramatic announcement(s)?!?!

All this does is expose your personal crazy cakes, especially when you open and close your Facebook account repeatedly, lock and unlock your Twitter account and start to tweet every day after saying you will only tweet once a week?

If you repeatedly can’t balance online life–get a grip; it’s online life?!

Once again, these declarations usually provokes concerns of “what’s wrong” or “are you ok?” The onslaught of attention makes the poster usually decide to stay.

How could I leave all of you who CARE so much!? or “I’m Back Did You Miss Me?”

…I just vomited in my mouth.

***

To Sum Up;

Too much information,

Stop being so needy,

No-one really cares,

…Take me away with you on vacation,

XOXO

The Pop Culture Rainman™

Bit Strips Taking Over Your Facebook Feed?

Notice these suckers showing up on your Facebook feed lately?

They are called ‘Bit Strips’ —  and are gleaned from an app that you can create with your iPhone. 

In a nut shell they are cartoon versions of yourself & your friends that you curate into different scenarios. I was mildly curious to try it, if only to see how close of a likeness I could actually get — but relented to do so after they were beginning to grate on my nerves.  As of late, it’s been filling up my Facebook feed, and stopping me from being able to see all of the OTHER braggadocio profusions that my friends post of their babies, their marathons, and their twelfth vacation of the year!

If like me, you find them narcissistic annoyances, you can easily block them by following this link that describes how to delete from seeing them. That goes for the Farmville’s and the Candy Crush’s as well.

One or two cartoons are cute, and some tow the clever line better than others, but there are those on my feed that are living vicariously through these things and it’s giving me a case of the ‘weirds.’

Dungeons and Dragons Weirds. Second Life Weirds. Stop referring to yourself in the 3rd person WEIRDS!

The reality/fantasy blur has never been my bag.

XOXO
The Pop Culture Rainman