Miss me? I’m back with part deux of The Pop Culture Rainman™ Best of 2014—or as my supportive boyfriend likes to call it, “No one wants to read your LATE 3-part series about LAST YEAR!?”
Pffft…timelines are so pedestrian doncha think?
Best in Books
I just want to read all the books, I really do. My life’s ambition is to be able to read—uninterruptus, an endless stream of hard covers while on an IV drip of marshmallow lattes. Due to the fact that I gots ta go wee-wee and other of life’s cumbersome intrusions, I’m able to bank a mere 12 reads a year.
Paltry yes, but I try to choose wisely and with discernment.
Best Celebrity Tome
Lena Dunham: Not That Kind of Girl
Reading Lena’s book was just like that one (and only) time I did Mushrooms. On both occasions I giggled hysterically and uncontrollably in marathon laughter sprints, my nose was running and my feet were sweating (not necessarily comparative) and I was inspired by every word, every breathing molecule before me.
Without question, Lena deserved that multi-million dollah payout. Her writing is extraordinary; she expresses her inner landscape so beautifully and serves up my kind of truth serum.
Also, Lena once tweeted this pearl about Tom Petty…
… and when I was on ‘shrooms the Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers CD that was on a table next to me was giving me a bad buzz (the green guy far right) so much so, that I had to put it in a drawer.
…So, as you can see it’s like were one person, really.
Worst Celebrity Tome
Trust me when I say, that this review hurts me more than it wounds you. I think Amy Poehler is a brilliant comedian/artist, but Yes Please receded all my expectations.
Much of her writing felt clipped, rushed and harried–basically what a single working mom of two sounds like in real life. A lot of her stories felt abridged without any real risk in describing her feelings at length—lacking any revealing depth or descriptive color. Plus there seemed to be a lot of silly filler, at least three ‘guest writers’ and lots of whiny complaints about HOW she would finish the book?
I like writers who ‘reveal’ themselves warts and all. Those who ‘go there’ and dig deep in the well. Amy was all, “I’ll call you back in five minutes,” and I only heard from her a week later styles!
Most of her ‘reveals’ were cloaked in comedy which is fine, but the funny as a whole was lacking. I expected much more funnay for my monnay. I expected the Great Wall of FUNNAY, and I got a billboards length at best.
There were a couple of lines that resonated deeply, like how a burst of crying followed by laughter should be treasured and I had possibly one, maybe 2 episodic laughs—but I can only conclude that she is not a naturally gifted writer, despite thriving in comedy.
Books that I enjoyed in 2014 were few and far in-between, but I adored The Girl Who Was Saturday Night, perhaps because I could truly relate to the divide between pure laine Québécois and Montreal’s English Park Avenue sect as depicted in the 90’s. Also the Opposite of Loneliness from the supremely gifted essayist + poet, Marina Keegan who died just five days after graduating magna cum laude from Yale University was inspiring on so many levels; most notably a personal quest to become half as good of a scribe as Keegan was at just 22 years of age.
This gem only comes out mid-January, but you can be certain that it lands on my 2015 list.
Best of the Web
Ahhhhh the interwebs are an endless pop culture floret in which to plucketh a ransom of culture jamming from, mais oui?!
Best in Memes
The famed Oscar group Selfie got a lot of play in 2014 with the Simpsons taking a stab, and my personal fave—a bloated Rob Ford in place of Bradley Cooper
And just when we (and by *we* I mean ME) thought she couldn’t possibly plunge to new lows of vacuity—Kim Kardashian finds a trap door! While I normally employ a Voldemortesque NEVER-discuss-Kardashian policy, the memes that followed her BIG REVEAL, are just too creative to pass up. Girlfriend served up her own backlashings of Schadenfreude on a silver platter!
*Note the silly putty meme was my oeuvre!
Other notables that went viral were sexy convict Jeremy Meeks, the Bong Smoking Grandmas and the most undeserving of all memee‘s IMHO Alex from Target.
Lest it be said that among this pecking order of mostly non-talents and functional illiterates (not the grandmas, they show real spinoff promise!) that there shone a glittery star whose electric moves obliterated them all.
None other than Dancing Diva Boy Brendan Jordan, who incidentally was one of The Pop Culture Rainman’s™ most popular posts for 2014! Brendan recently got himself a coveted American Apparel gig where Bae was able to parlay his shizzle into cold hard papahhhh.
k, I’ll stop with the blaccent.
Best YouTube Star
Grace Helbig has pretty much cornered the market on the funny-gorgeous-talented ‘It Gal’ space on YouTube. Here’s her wiki profile, cause girlfriend has one of those annoying ‘early-web adopter’ resumes and this blog post is already a week late.
In 2014 alone, Helbig released her first book—Grace’s Guide, appeared in a digital travel series for Condé Nast Entertainment’s The Scene and most recently got her own E! Network pilot talk-show—and we know how that turned out for Chelsea Lately. All that on top of her mammoth 2 million plus subscribers on her own YouTube Channel?!!!
FYI; the only reason I am not yet a YouTube Star, or Twitterlebrity as of YET, is due to my inability to just shoot footage or ‘selfies’ on-the-fly sans FULL make-up, hair and a wardrobe team. I also require *twinkly* Elisabeth Taylor White Diamonds Lighting at my disposal.
While you probably ‘wake up like dis’ Ms. Helbig, I suspect some sort of beauty budge for your shows? Those Farrah-flips don’t curl themselves amirite, sister?
As for me, I wake up looking like ONE face with Larry King. It’s holding me back.
And don’t think that just be cause you’re a Millennial and I’m a Perimenopausal that I can’t come for your crown laydeee. Cause I am a COMMMING… (*I yell out to no one…) “MAKE-UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!?????????”
Best Web Series
It’s Coffee, it’s Comedians, it’s a moving vehicle…what more do you want?!
Worst in Web
The interwebs giveth but MAN does it ever HACKETH?! It’s been a frightening year for humans trying to keep some semblance of their privacy in tact. Celebrities, agents, moguls and executives were major targets this year.
#TheFappening as it became affectionately known as in hashtag parlance, was a hacking invasion of many famous actresses private iPhone photos which were then posted on the web.
…And the Sony hack emails (which may or may not have been an inside job) let us know exactly what producer Scott Rudin thinks of Angelina Jolie, and by proxy let the world in on the private email accounts of major A-List celebs. ‘HughJ‘ needs to be a bit more creative next time!
Stay tuned for PART THREE of my Best of 2014 series, I can promise you it will be AS exciting a cliff hanger as when Fonzie jumped the shark!