Photo: Libertine NYFW

If you’re just tuning in, you should know that here at The Pop Culture Rainman™, a nail trend story, ANY nail trend story gives us warm and cozy amniotic fluid *feels* on the reg.

The Reason?

a) Nail art is the gift that keeps on giving and is a trend writers evergreen-content bestie.

b) It keeps the lights on at our head office and has helped fund my dream of bringing my production of the 1986-1993 runaway TV hit Perfect Strangers—The Musical to off off off broadway.  

…I’m thinkin’ Simon Helberg for ‘Balkie Bartokomous’

…and Michael Cera for ‘Larry Appelton’—but I’m still working out the deets.

c) Who am I kidding, our ‘head office’ is my bedroom and I pay an occasional intern in Benzos and leftover Swag that “I don’t care for.“

Ahem. Where were we?

Ah yasssss, Nail Art…is a huge audience draw for The Pop Culture Rainman™, and that is why it hurts me to say that the latest nail art trend of hideous Fur Nails is one that I cannot endorse. 

It all started at the Fall/Winter 2016 runway show for fashion label Libertine at New York Fashion Week. Jan Arnold, whose work I adore as style director of CND nail polish came up with the concept, which incorporated FAUX-FUR on the digits of all the models. I put faux-fur in bold letters, as I wanted to make clear the distinction, as anything else would have enraged me, being that I am militant ANTI-FUR.

Fur Nails : Do Not Try This at Home

In the words of  my best friend who commented on one of my many experimental whacked-out hair colors whilst I was still in university; “it’s great for the clubs, but bad for the library.“

Translation: Leave it for the runway, but do not try this at home. Also, do the kids even go to the library to study anymore?

I have to say I do appreciate this ↓ Troll Doll version from Instagram Nail Artist Narmai.

I mean that is super cuuuute stuffs amirite?

To sum up, in the bold words of Dr. Seuss who was most definitely tripping his balls off when he wrote the classic Green Eggs and Ham:

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE

Yeaaaa, No.

XOXO